Losing Yourself

I feel like over the past few months of weight-loss I really have lost myself in the whole process. I was losing sight of why I was getting healthy, while yes it is for Hannah and to potentially have another child. It is also for myself and that is what is most important. I was beginning to feel like everything I was doing was to please someone (my trainer and my weight-loss group) other than me  and ultimately it lead to my defeat. I was doing everything that I SHOULD be doing and I was feeling like a failure because it wasn't working. I was losing a minimal amount of weight and then after the fast was over I really felt defeat. My trainer said "Heather if you do this fast I can guarantee you will lose thirty pounds in a month." I bought that hook, line and sinker! Did I want to do a fast? NO! But I knew that I did have the willpower to do it so I did. Yes I completed my thirty days but I did not lose any weight. I went from losing at least two pounds a week to a month of losing nothing. I never fully recovered from this,  I fell and I fell hard. My motivation and drive went right out the window.

So today, I will be going to the Y and I feel like I am starting all over again. I have not gained any weight and have lost maybe three pounds since the beginning of March but I finally feel recovered enough from my cold to get back on this mountain and start climbing to the top. I have to let go of things that did not work out and I have to let go of people that are not good for me.