I'm not for resolutions of the New Year's variety. But I am very aware of a few things that need to be changed in my life. Last night I started cleaning the house after Tom and I had a movie night with the kids. I started scrubbing the tub and my knee as usual was in pain and feeling like it didn't want to bend. I finally get my joints working only to have to get back up and proceed to limp around. Tom just so happened to be standing behind me as I was going through the motions.
He finally says: "What is wrong with you, your knees, your elbows, it's always something."
To which I replied: "I'm too fat combined with getting older and it's killing my joints."
T: "Then do something about it, go on a diet."
Me: "I plan on it I just don't know what I want to do."
The truth is for the past month I've really been psyching myself up to pick a plan and stick to it. The fear of failing has left me with reservations on getting started on my endeavors.
I'm about 80% sure of the path I want to take to lose weight. I know enough that a diet alone is not going to save me. If that were the case I'd have been skinny years ago. My battle is of the mental variety and once I get done making excuses and telling myself I'll not make it; I'll be able to get something done. What I need most from others is support and kindness and not everyone in my life offering me "good advice." I really dislike when people try to help me lose weight as weird as that may seem. If I tell someone I lost five pounds the last thing I want to hear is "ooh, I have a recipe for sugar free cookies" or any other "healthy" item. As nice is that is to share a recipe; I don't want your recipe. I'd rather have a kind/encouraging word or silence.
I've come to realize I am highly addicted to junk and because of that, changing the way I eat feels like a never ending battle. I crave crappy food and when I'm trying to rid myself of sugar/sweets/junk I don't want any substitutions. By eating the substitutions I'm still allowing my body to crave sweets/junk thus prolonging a seemingly unending cycle to just stop craving them altogether. I need to eat healthy and I don't want sugar-free, fat-free, low-sodium processed substitutions to get me through it.
This year is going to be about discipline and perseverance. I will train myself to stick to this even when I really don't want to.
Showing posts with label Weight Loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Weight Loss. Show all posts
Monday, January 7, 2013
Sunday, January 8, 2012
The Week of H
It was H week at Hannie's school. She made a headband and colored hippos. For show and tell she brought a horse Tuesday and a hamster Thursday. She was very glad to have started back to school after Christmas break.
Now that Tom is what I like to call, a deadly diabetic, we have made a 180 with the meals in our house. Tom gets really sick when his sugar gets too high and his sugar gets high very easily. He has gone down three pant sizes and two shirt sizes due to his newly diagnosed diabetes. Luckily, I am an expert on how to eat (not that I always follow my own advice) and have got him on a super good diet. He's feeling better and not having any of the symptoms that he was feeling prior to the diet change.
I've lost 8 pounds this week thanks to the change and unfortunately his diabetes was just the push I needed to get my butt back in gear.
Aside from Hannah's school routine and grocery shopping we did a whole lot of nothing this week and that is perfectly fine with me!
Now that Tom is what I like to call, a deadly diabetic, we have made a 180 with the meals in our house. Tom gets really sick when his sugar gets too high and his sugar gets high very easily. He has gone down three pant sizes and two shirt sizes due to his newly diagnosed diabetes. Luckily, I am an expert on how to eat (not that I always follow my own advice) and have got him on a super good diet. He's feeling better and not having any of the symptoms that he was feeling prior to the diet change.
I've lost 8 pounds this week thanks to the change and unfortunately his diabetes was just the push I needed to get my butt back in gear.
Aside from Hannah's school routine and grocery shopping we did a whole lot of nothing this week and that is perfectly fine with me!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
The End
As much as I love the holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas), I am so thankful they are over. They are not very friendly to my waistline ;) I did a ton of laundry last night, I went to put my jeans on this morning for work and they were tight. Not just the fresh-from-the-dryer-tight but the, you've-gained-10-pounds-from-the-holiday-eating-kind-of- tight. Nice.
That's was the reminder I needed to love my meal plan, stick to it and bust my butt at the gym today. I will not be regressing, staying stagnant in weight loss is bad enough but going backwards is not an option.
My friend told me something the other night that are truly words to live by. "It's not what you do from Thanksgiving to New Year's, it's what you do from New Year's to Thanksgiving." I couldn't agree more!
As the year draws to an end I would like to wish everyone a terrific and healthy New Year! Here's to losing more weight!
That's was the reminder I needed to love my meal plan, stick to it and bust my butt at the gym today. I will not be regressing, staying stagnant in weight loss is bad enough but going backwards is not an option.
My friend told me something the other night that are truly words to live by. "It's not what you do from Thanksgiving to New Year's, it's what you do from New Year's to Thanksgiving." I couldn't agree more!
As the year draws to an end I would like to wish everyone a terrific and healthy New Year! Here's to losing more weight!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Progress Report with a Dash of History
(The Progress Report)
I'm back on track with my weight-loss and so thankful for that. I lost 5ish pounds since last week and am feeling "skinnier," even if it is all in my head ;)
I stumbled quite a bit for the past few months and have been yo-yoing with my weight since about End of July/August. I'm not sure if it was that realization or my new hair cut but I managed to get my butt back in gear and that is what counts.
My initially stumbling was due to your typical pit-falls: vacations, birthdays, more vacations, day trips, weddings, birthdays, repeat, repeat, justify, justify, justify.
I feel good about it once again and hope that feeling stays around awhile!
****************************************************************************
(The History)
I first started to become heavy as a child, around age 10 or 11. I was molested and never told anyone. Instead I chose to eat through my feelings because that is what I could control. By age 12 I was gigantic or so I felt. In 6th/7th grade I wore a size 18. It was then that I first started "dieting."
It started out with the vegetable soup diet, I lost a good amount of weight on this diet. Then I started taking Meridia around 8th grade into 9th grade to aid me in my weight loss. By the time 9th grade rolled around and I was starting high school I was a magical size 12 and I really felt a lot better about myself. I was "skinny" or so I thought and had a great high school experience. My diet in high school was less than stellar, I would eat cereal bars for breakfast and a diet coke with a butterscotch krimpet for lunch (most days). This was the picture of nutrition.
I ballooned back up slowly but surely and can't quite remember where it all went wrong but I think that in 12th grade spanning into life after high school I became gigantic once again.
For a good while I stayed around a 22/24. Then after a few years of infertility and treatment for such I started to balloon even further. I finally topped out around 26/28 and even had a few pants that were size 28. I couldn't believe I let myself get this way. Finally I started to lose weight, lost 30 pounds got pregnant, had baby, lost weight, gained weight. Lost weight again, had another baby, lost baby weight, gained more weight. It's a vicious cycle. I fell into the trap every time.
This time around I really felt called to lose this weight, my journey started around May and from May to July I lost 35 pounds! I was ecstatic! It was then that I really started looking at the real issue of where this weight issue started in the first place. Being molested. I had never dealt with it. I had told next to no one and it had taken me 16 years to tell my parents. That is insane when I think about it that way.
Finally after all of these years I'm dealing with it and it stinks. I still cry when I talk about it, the shame, sadness and anger that I have carried around for all of these years has really taken a toll on my heart. I've gotten to a point where I'm at a stale mate with myself, Do I continue to go to counseling to deal? What do I expect to come of it? Will this feeling ever go away? Will I ever feel normal? Right now I don't think it will and if I could step into a mind erasing machine, I would. Since I can't change what I have experienced as a child and the impact that it has left on me; I'll focus on changing my body and I'll need tons of prayer to help me with that!
I know good will come of this someday, I just wish that someday would happen soon.
I'm back on track with my weight-loss and so thankful for that. I lost 5ish pounds since last week and am feeling "skinnier," even if it is all in my head ;)
I stumbled quite a bit for the past few months and have been yo-yoing with my weight since about End of July/August. I'm not sure if it was that realization or my new hair cut but I managed to get my butt back in gear and that is what counts.
My initially stumbling was due to your typical pit-falls: vacations, birthdays, more vacations, day trips, weddings, birthdays, repeat, repeat, justify, justify, justify.
I feel good about it once again and hope that feeling stays around awhile!
****************************************************************************
(The History)
I first started to become heavy as a child, around age 10 or 11. I was molested and never told anyone. Instead I chose to eat through my feelings because that is what I could control. By age 12 I was gigantic or so I felt. In 6th/7th grade I wore a size 18. It was then that I first started "dieting."
It started out with the vegetable soup diet, I lost a good amount of weight on this diet. Then I started taking Meridia around 8th grade into 9th grade to aid me in my weight loss. By the time 9th grade rolled around and I was starting high school I was a magical size 12 and I really felt a lot better about myself. I was "skinny" or so I thought and had a great high school experience. My diet in high school was less than stellar, I would eat cereal bars for breakfast and a diet coke with a butterscotch krimpet for lunch (most days). This was the picture of nutrition.
I ballooned back up slowly but surely and can't quite remember where it all went wrong but I think that in 12th grade spanning into life after high school I became gigantic once again.
For a good while I stayed around a 22/24. Then after a few years of infertility and treatment for such I started to balloon even further. I finally topped out around 26/28 and even had a few pants that were size 28. I couldn't believe I let myself get this way. Finally I started to lose weight, lost 30 pounds got pregnant, had baby, lost weight, gained weight. Lost weight again, had another baby, lost baby weight, gained more weight. It's a vicious cycle. I fell into the trap every time.
This time around I really felt called to lose this weight, my journey started around May and from May to July I lost 35 pounds! I was ecstatic! It was then that I really started looking at the real issue of where this weight issue started in the first place. Being molested. I had never dealt with it. I had told next to no one and it had taken me 16 years to tell my parents. That is insane when I think about it that way.
Finally after all of these years I'm dealing with it and it stinks. I still cry when I talk about it, the shame, sadness and anger that I have carried around for all of these years has really taken a toll on my heart. I've gotten to a point where I'm at a stale mate with myself, Do I continue to go to counseling to deal? What do I expect to come of it? Will this feeling ever go away? Will I ever feel normal? Right now I don't think it will and if I could step into a mind erasing machine, I would. Since I can't change what I have experienced as a child and the impact that it has left on me; I'll focus on changing my body and I'll need tons of prayer to help me with that!
I know good will come of this someday, I just wish that someday would happen soon.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Challenges and Staying the Course
I am finding it challenging this month to stay the course with my meal plan and fitness. Dealing with my relationship with food is so hard, that urge to make unhealthy decisions is SO hard and SO frustrating. I often feel like I should just give in because that would be so much easier. The constant struggle it plays with your mind must be similar to how an alcoholic or drug addict must feel. Stress just makes it that much worse, food is my coping method. Life gets a little rocky-eat a cupcake. For in that instance your troubles wash away and you don't have a care. Your cupcake is gone and all your problems are still there, so you eat and eat. Nothing gets accomplished this way.
I know that I should trust in the Lord with things like this and adhere to what the Bible tells you. You should not be gluttonous, you should not worry, you should trust in the Lord. While this is all well and good it is much easier said then done. I do find it much more helpful to accomplish my weight loss goals when I read the Bible daily and attend Church on Sunday. It's comforting and you really need that time to re group and rejoice in the Lord. Whenever I miss a service or don't touch the Bible for the day I can really see the difference.
If I could be more disciplined with these areas in my life, life would be much easier! I just don't know what road to take to get there.
I know that I should trust in the Lord with things like this and adhere to what the Bible tells you. You should not be gluttonous, you should not worry, you should trust in the Lord. While this is all well and good it is much easier said then done. I do find it much more helpful to accomplish my weight loss goals when I read the Bible daily and attend Church on Sunday. It's comforting and you really need that time to re group and rejoice in the Lord. Whenever I miss a service or don't touch the Bible for the day I can really see the difference.
If I could be more disciplined with these areas in my life, life would be much easier! I just don't know what road to take to get there.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
"Thinking" May Not Always Be A Good Thing
Aunt Flo came to see me today which makes me think that could be why I was SO emotional this week. I haven't had Flo visit since I had Carter so it makes perfect sense that it would come when we planned to go to Sesame Place and on a date night. Tis my life I guess, I'll just try to be grateful it came at all.
I've had the weirdest dreams/nightmares lately. I dreamt that the rapture happened on 12/21/2012 and Hannah, Carter and I floated off to heaven and Tom was left on Earth. Then the next night I dreamt that Hannah and I were being gunned down in our neighborhood and a bomb hit me in the face. I was then pinned to the ground and couldn't get up until my attacker was right next to me. Thankfully these "dreams" end pretty quickly to the tune of my annoying alarm clock!
I'm still working out and eating healthy, I hope that my the end of the month I will reach the 15 pound mark! I lost a total of five pounds this week which I couldn't have been more proud of! The week prior I had lost 1.5 lbs and to be honest was feeling a little discouraged. I kept pressing on and it paid off big time! I finally reached out via email to the counselor so I hope to hear from her on Tuesday. I am super nervous, I've never had any type of counseling so this is all unfamiliar territory. I am excited to see how it affects my life!
I started reading "Women, Food and God" by Geneen Roth, already I have cried reading it and I'm only on the second chapter! The points she makes about food addiction and why you react to food is so real. I would recommend everyone to read it, even if you don't think you are addicted to food!
I've had the weirdest dreams/nightmares lately. I dreamt that the rapture happened on 12/21/2012 and Hannah, Carter and I floated off to heaven and Tom was left on Earth. Then the next night I dreamt that Hannah and I were being gunned down in our neighborhood and a bomb hit me in the face. I was then pinned to the ground and couldn't get up until my attacker was right next to me. Thankfully these "dreams" end pretty quickly to the tune of my annoying alarm clock!
I'm still working out and eating healthy, I hope that my the end of the month I will reach the 15 pound mark! I lost a total of five pounds this week which I couldn't have been more proud of! The week prior I had lost 1.5 lbs and to be honest was feeling a little discouraged. I kept pressing on and it paid off big time! I finally reached out via email to the counselor so I hope to hear from her on Tuesday. I am super nervous, I've never had any type of counseling so this is all unfamiliar territory. I am excited to see how it affects my life!
I started reading "Women, Food and God" by Geneen Roth, already I have cried reading it and I'm only on the second chapter! The points she makes about food addiction and why you react to food is so real. I would recommend everyone to read it, even if you don't think you are addicted to food!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Ahhh...
I officially started exercising on May 5th and I love it! Since then I have lost twelve pounds! Woo-hoo!
My trainer is super awesome! He is so caring and seems generally concerned if you have a question for him. He always, always gives positive words of encouragement. I just love him! To make things even better he is from Portugal and has the cutest accent!
I finally have that feeling of this is going to work for me!
Friday when I was there I met two people who he was working with. A man who had lost 46 pounds had been going there for nine weeks and a woman close to her 70's had lost 63 pounds in the past six months. I can't wait for that to be me! To-ze even said to me, "You are next, soon you will be like Cinderella!"
I started going to church again and am really enjoying it! I always feel so recharged for the week when I go on Sunday. I missed yesterday's service because I had worked Saturday from 5am-9am and was totally wiped out from getting up at 4am. Now I'm feeling like something is missing from my routine, I hate that!
My trainer is super awesome! He is so caring and seems generally concerned if you have a question for him. He always, always gives positive words of encouragement. I just love him! To make things even better he is from Portugal and has the cutest accent!
I finally have that feeling of this is going to work for me!
Friday when I was there I met two people who he was working with. A man who had lost 46 pounds had been going there for nine weeks and a woman close to her 70's had lost 63 pounds in the past six months. I can't wait for that to be me! To-ze even said to me, "You are next, soon you will be like Cinderella!"
I started going to church again and am really enjoying it! I always feel so recharged for the week when I go on Sunday. I missed yesterday's service because I had worked Saturday from 5am-9am and was totally wiped out from getting up at 4am. Now I'm feeling like something is missing from my routine, I hate that!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Looking UP!
Finally got a call back today about my blood-work from Monday. My progesterone is way up thanks to the Prometrium! Went from 7 on Thursday with no meds to 36 on Monday! YAY!
They have me taking two pills in the morning, one pill mid-day and two pills at night. I'm quite thankful that it is working well!
I will be monitored by the RE until I am at 12 weeks. My first ultrasound will be Thursday at 9:00! I am super excited!!!
I have been uber paranoid about having twins this pregnancy. On my dad's side of the family there are three sets of twins. My grandmother had twins, her sister had twins and one of my cousins has also had twins so far. There is a pattern though. Your first baby is a single child and then the second time you get pregnant it is twins. So this will be my possible shot at having twins, lol! If this were to happen I would have a heart-attack, seriously!
So far my one best friend has decided that I am not having twins but that I am going to have another girl. My other best friend has decided that I am having a boy. My MIL has decided that I am having twins one boy and one girl. Since I have not yet fine tuned my psychic abilities I am unable to predict at this time what I will be having! Really I think I need someone to pinch me because I still am in shock. I was darn grateful to have been blessed with Hannah and to have another one on the way just seems so unreal. Maybe it will sink in when I see with my own eyes Thursday.
They have me taking two pills in the morning, one pill mid-day and two pills at night. I'm quite thankful that it is working well!
I will be monitored by the RE until I am at 12 weeks. My first ultrasound will be Thursday at 9:00! I am super excited!!!
I have been uber paranoid about having twins this pregnancy. On my dad's side of the family there are three sets of twins. My grandmother had twins, her sister had twins and one of my cousins has also had twins so far. There is a pattern though. Your first baby is a single child and then the second time you get pregnant it is twins. So this will be my possible shot at having twins, lol! If this were to happen I would have a heart-attack, seriously!
So far my one best friend has decided that I am not having twins but that I am going to have another girl. My other best friend has decided that I am having a boy. My MIL has decided that I am having twins one boy and one girl. Since I have not yet fine tuned my psychic abilities I am unable to predict at this time what I will be having! Really I think I need someone to pinch me because I still am in shock. I was darn grateful to have been blessed with Hannah and to have another one on the way just seems so unreal. Maybe it will sink in when I see with my own eyes Thursday.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
The Step Master...Seriously
So, we had our Monday step class yesterday, we set up our stepping stations and it is then I realize...the stepping master is in front of me. No joke!
I knew it was about to get serious when I see him stretching his hulk legs, I am not kidding you this man had legs like a horse. Rock solid.
I looked at my bestie and we both let out a chuckle. This was followed by several more chuckles once the class got started. I was so amazed the man looked like he HAD to have been 50-60 years old and he had enough energy for everyone in the gymnasium. There is nothing like being the noob doing step next to Stepper Sammy. Dude was serious. Meanwhile I was the bumbling idiot who was always a step behind and I had homeboy in front of me tearing it up.
It was kind of like a repeat of last week...
I knew it was about to get serious when I see him stretching his hulk legs, I am not kidding you this man had legs like a horse. Rock solid.
I looked at my bestie and we both let out a chuckle. This was followed by several more chuckles once the class got started. I was so amazed the man looked like he HAD to have been 50-60 years old and he had enough energy for everyone in the gymnasium. There is nothing like being the noob doing step next to Stepper Sammy. Dude was serious. Meanwhile I was the bumbling idiot who was always a step behind and I had homeboy in front of me tearing it up.
It was kind of like a repeat of last week...
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Feels Like Today
Man I am feeling good today!
You know how you just feel like you have an added bounce in your step? That would be me!
I made a few decisions on things that have been weighing me down and as sad as it is to see relationships come to an end it was for the best. Now I can breath again.
That being said...I had a kick-ass step class last night. Em (one of my best friends) invited Fancythis and I to join her in a class that she takes with her Aunt. FT invited her mom to come along and the five of us had a really good time and more importantly a good work out! I had never done stepping other than the very basic of moves so parts of it were lost on me but I kept moving and did other moves if I couldn't get the hang of a certain tecnique. It lasted an hour and by the end all of us were completely drenched in sweat and our faces were as a red as possible. I am so looking forward to doing it again every Monday!
Weight loss update: I have lost forty pounds total and so far this week I have lost one pound! Woo-hoo!
You know how you just feel like you have an added bounce in your step? That would be me!
I made a few decisions on things that have been weighing me down and as sad as it is to see relationships come to an end it was for the best. Now I can breath again.
That being said...I had a kick-ass step class last night. Em (one of my best friends) invited Fancythis and I to join her in a class that she takes with her Aunt. FT invited her mom to come along and the five of us had a really good time and more importantly a good work out! I had never done stepping other than the very basic of moves so parts of it were lost on me but I kept moving and did other moves if I couldn't get the hang of a certain tecnique. It lasted an hour and by the end all of us were completely drenched in sweat and our faces were as a red as possible. I am so looking forward to doing it again every Monday!
Weight loss update: I have lost forty pounds total and so far this week I have lost one pound! Woo-hoo!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Losing Yourself
I feel like over the past few months of weight-loss I really have lost myself in the whole process. I was losing sight of why I was getting healthy, while yes it is for Hannah and to potentially have another child. It is also for myself and that is what is most important. I was beginning to feel like everything I was doing was to please someone (my trainer and my weight-loss group) other than me and ultimately it lead to my defeat. I was doing everything that I SHOULD be doing and I was feeling like a failure because it wasn't working. I was losing a minimal amount of weight and then after the fast was over I really felt defeat. My trainer said "Heather if you do this fast I can guarantee you will lose thirty pounds in a month." I bought that hook, line and sinker! Did I want to do a fast? NO! But I knew that I did have the willpower to do it so I did. Yes I completed my thirty days but I did not lose any weight. I went from losing at least two pounds a week to a month of losing nothing. I never fully recovered from this, I fell and I fell hard. My motivation and drive went right out the window.
So today, I will be going to the Y and I feel like I am starting all over again. I have not gained any weight and have lost maybe three pounds since the beginning of March but I finally feel recovered enough from my cold to get back on this mountain and start climbing to the top. I have to let go of things that did not work out and I have to let go of people that are not good for me.
So today, I will be going to the Y and I feel like I am starting all over again. I have not gained any weight and have lost maybe three pounds since the beginning of March but I finally feel recovered enough from my cold to get back on this mountain and start climbing to the top. I have to let go of things that did not work out and I have to let go of people that are not good for me.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Black Man Magnet
This is a recurring theme in my life. Black men love the "big girls" or at least the majority seem to.
I was pumping gas yesterday and as I stood by the pumping area and begin to swipe my card this man starts looking over at me. I glance slightly so that I can be sure he is looking at me and not something else. Sure enough he is staring me in the face, great. I look up at him now that I have established I have a starer and he says "Hi." I tell him Hi back, he keeps staring, I pump my gas and pretend not to notice. It was super creepy and strange, we were the only two people at the pumps and the way he was looking and craning his neck to look over towards my car was creeping me out. I was about to return to my car and lock the door when he finally got in his car and left. Not sure what that whole weird incident was all about but I was getting the heebes for sure.
Fast forward to later that night at the Y...
I am working my triceps on one of the weight areas, sure enough I have acquired a starer. After staring for a while he finally offers me some advice that if I hold the bar a different way I can also exercise my back. Oh okay thank you man who is shaped like Grimace from McDonalds. Had I wanted to exercise my back I would have done so. Okay so I didn't say that I just looked at my trainer who told him "Thank you." But it doesn't end there folks, the man continues to watch my every move for about five minutes longer. He then advises me, "Don't forget to breath." At this point I am more than annoyed. I assured him that I was breathing and proceeded to blow my breaths out louder for emphasis. I am definitely not a grunter/loud breather when I work out but I am very focused on my inhaling and exhaling. He then continues to stare and stare and stare. I think if I was a ruder person I would have lashed out irrationally but whatever. This guy thought he was being helpful and I thought he was being obnoxious. It was all quite comical because I am not sure what that man was there for, he should have been exercising but he was just standing about holding weights in his arms and staring, at me.
This always seems to happen to me quite often so I just CAN'T wait to see what happens the next time I go to the Y. Maybe I'll finally tell a starer to quit staring.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Day Five
Well it's day five of the fast.
Things are not going well in my opinion. I have been extremely strict with my diet, no cheating what so ever not even an occasional piece of small candy. I have successfully gained two pounds, oh wait that's right I am supposed to be losing not GAINING. Clearly my body is not appreciative of all of my hard work and has decided to revolt against me.
I am literally on the verge of tears today and am going to give this fast a few more days before I kick it to the curb and try something different.
Please none of you say how muscle weighs more than fat or I just may scream!
Things are not going well in my opinion. I have been extremely strict with my diet, no cheating what so ever not even an occasional piece of small candy. I have successfully gained two pounds, oh wait that's right I am supposed to be losing not GAINING. Clearly my body is not appreciative of all of my hard work and has decided to revolt against me.
I am literally on the verge of tears today and am going to give this fast a few more days before I kick it to the curb and try something different.
Please none of you say how muscle weighs more than fat or I just may scream!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
NO Bread, NO Red, NO Cheese
This is my latest challenge. I really need something to just get me to drop a bunch of weight. My trainer thinks this is something that I really need to pray on and be focused.
The challenge is that for thirty days I will not eat bread, red meat or any cheese. Now if anyone out there knows me, knows that I LOVE all of these things! With my PCOS it really is poison to my body when I eat any type of carbs such as pasta or bread. I am not kidding, if I were to eat a small portion of pasta or white bread I will gain at least a pound if not more. I have cut out all white bread and have only been eating wheat but now I am just cutting it out completely.
Cheese mine enemy, I love it! I wouldn't say I eat it at every meal but I will usually eat cheese once or twice a day.
Red meat, my favorite meat this is where we will part ways. I will now be eating chicken or turkey like that's my job!
Surprisingly I am feeling really good about this. I thought I would be taking it harder but so far so good!
If anyone would like to take the challenge with me I would love that!!! Just let me know if you are going to do it too so we can be there for each other!
Another thing I have been working on is cleaning up my mouth! Man has this been a challenge. Try as I might I can't quit cussing, I think I am going to start with one cuss word at a time until I work them all out of my mouth. Wish me luck!
The challenge is that for thirty days I will not eat bread, red meat or any cheese. Now if anyone out there knows me, knows that I LOVE all of these things! With my PCOS it really is poison to my body when I eat any type of carbs such as pasta or bread. I am not kidding, if I were to eat a small portion of pasta or white bread I will gain at least a pound if not more. I have cut out all white bread and have only been eating wheat but now I am just cutting it out completely.
Cheese mine enemy, I love it! I wouldn't say I eat it at every meal but I will usually eat cheese once or twice a day.
Red meat, my favorite meat this is where we will part ways. I will now be eating chicken or turkey like that's my job!
Surprisingly I am feeling really good about this. I thought I would be taking it harder but so far so good!
If anyone would like to take the challenge with me I would love that!!! Just let me know if you are going to do it too so we can be there for each other!
Another thing I have been working on is cleaning up my mouth! Man has this been a challenge. Try as I might I can't quit cussing, I think I am going to start with one cuss word at a time until I work them all out of my mouth. Wish me luck!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The Mystery of the Sippy-Cup
How in the world do you get your child to use a sippy cup? This is my great mystery currently. Hannah is not very cooperative when it comes to drinking from a sip-cup or holding her own bottle. I fear it is something I am doing wrong so if anyone out there has a clue on what is best to do I would love to hear it!
In other news it seems like for the past three months Hannah is spitting up constantly. The doctor didn't offer any help on how to get her to stop this so Tom and I decided to switch her formula to gentle and it still hasn't helped. Before she would never spit-up ever and now it seems that is all she does. I also bought a can of the "Next-Step" formula to see if that might help (Haven't given it to her yet). I am running out of ideas on what to do. Any suggestions would be appreciated!
When did everyone's child stop drinking formula? Hannah is 10 and 1/2 months old and she doesn't want her bottle any more. She will drink around four ounces in the morning but after that she will only drink one, two or three ounces every few hours during the day. I am telling myself she is full from her other foods but I know they are still supposed to be drinking formula so it makes me concerned. It seems like she decided on her own to be done with her formula.
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I have lost Thirty Pounds! *Pats self on back!* I am so excited! I have really been working hard at the Y. Even though I didn't go yesterday I plan on making it up today. Yesterday it was cold and snowing so I didn't want to have to bundle Hannah up so that I could go to the Y. I stayed home and enjoyed the last day of pretending to be a stay at home mom! :lol:
Well after three days off of work it is back to the grindstone, argh. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend!
In other news it seems like for the past three months Hannah is spitting up constantly. The doctor didn't offer any help on how to get her to stop this so Tom and I decided to switch her formula to gentle and it still hasn't helped. Before she would never spit-up ever and now it seems that is all she does. I also bought a can of the "Next-Step" formula to see if that might help (Haven't given it to her yet). I am running out of ideas on what to do. Any suggestions would be appreciated!
When did everyone's child stop drinking formula? Hannah is 10 and 1/2 months old and she doesn't want her bottle any more. She will drink around four ounces in the morning but after that she will only drink one, two or three ounces every few hours during the day. I am telling myself she is full from her other foods but I know they are still supposed to be drinking formula so it makes me concerned. It seems like she decided on her own to be done with her formula.
*************************************************************
I have lost Thirty Pounds! *Pats self on back!* I am so excited! I have really been working hard at the Y. Even though I didn't go yesterday I plan on making it up today. Yesterday it was cold and snowing so I didn't want to have to bundle Hannah up so that I could go to the Y. I stayed home and enjoyed the last day of pretending to be a stay at home mom! :lol:
Well after three days off of work it is back to the grindstone, argh. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Just Leave Me Alone!
I am so in that kind of mood this week.
It seems like every moment I am at work I am pulled in a thousand directions. Then I get home and enjoy Hannah and when she goes to bed I am ready to just lay in bed watching TV or reading a book until bed time rolls around.
I haven't exercised in a week due to schedule conflicts and Christmas thrown in for good measure and just when I think this week is going to go well I ran late at work-what would have been my first day back exercising. Needless to say I didn't exercise Monday.
I am hoping my trainer doesn't think I am ignoring her on purpose because I was on a roll and hope to continue my progress sometime-eventually this week. I have also decided I am going to join the Y! I am pretty excited for that and am really hoping my husband will agree to come as well! My mom is going to go with me so that will be super fun. She used to be a fitness fanatic in her younger years so I am interested to see if she becomes that way once again.
I have set my goal to lose a minimum of 80 pounds by next October. With really trying to lose over 100lbs but I don't want to feel too overwhelmed so I just keep telling myself 80lbs. I have high hopes this will work! I need to lose at a minimum 10lbs a month and will feel successful with my goal. Hopefully the world around me can offer there support and encouragement with my goal. I need to get this body to a healthier weight to carry a child again!
As a side note, I find this terribly ironic and insensitive all at the same time...we had secret santa at work and my santa gave me DOVE CHOCOLATES! WTH! and HOT CHOCOLATE! This person mind you knew full and well that I am exercising and eating healthier so why on earth would he give me candy!
Other than my unsually crappy mood, Christmas was a lot of fun! Hannah opened her presents herself and played with all of her toys! I was pretty impressed since a lot of people were telling me that this Christmas wouldn't be fun. I beg to differ.
My MIL said to me, "Next year will be a lot more fun, she will be more interested in her toys." Don't ask me where that comment came from because neither Tom nor I complained about Christmas not being "fun." Sometimes I think people just talk to hear themselves talk.
A friend acquaintance of mine has recently made several attempts to re-kindle our friendship and even though she was given my phone number and email two months ago, she just now sent me an email on 12-23. I thought it rather interesting because I have not spoken to her in close to five years, our friendship did not end on good terms and I was fine with it. When I stop a friendship it is justifiable and the fact that she turned super shady and never paid my mother back a substantial amount of money was all the reasoning I needed to stop seeing her. So any-who, she sent me an email about how sorry she is and how she thinks about me often...blah, blah, blah. At first I replied that what happened that long ago is not a big deal anymore, etc, etc...but the more I think about her the more annoyed I get. I have all the friends that I need and really don't want anymore. If I cut you off it was for good reason and I am really not looking to re-kindle our lost friendship. I have two best friends that I have never had a falling out with and that is all I want. I don't need any fair-weather friends. Thankfully I managed to rid myself of all of them and don't want them back. Is this mean of me? I kind of feel like I am being mean, unkind and unChristian. But I really just don't want to let people that have done me wrong in the past back into my world...maybe that is too much to ask?
I think I need a vacation, but for now I'll settle on venting on this blog. Thanks to anyone that actually made it to the bottom of this post, your comments are appreciated!
It seems like every moment I am at work I am pulled in a thousand directions. Then I get home and enjoy Hannah and when she goes to bed I am ready to just lay in bed watching TV or reading a book until bed time rolls around.
I haven't exercised in a week due to schedule conflicts and Christmas thrown in for good measure and just when I think this week is going to go well I ran late at work-what would have been my first day back exercising. Needless to say I didn't exercise Monday.
I am hoping my trainer doesn't think I am ignoring her on purpose because I was on a roll and hope to continue my progress sometime-eventually this week. I have also decided I am going to join the Y! I am pretty excited for that and am really hoping my husband will agree to come as well! My mom is going to go with me so that will be super fun. She used to be a fitness fanatic in her younger years so I am interested to see if she becomes that way once again.
I have set my goal to lose a minimum of 80 pounds by next October. With really trying to lose over 100lbs but I don't want to feel too overwhelmed so I just keep telling myself 80lbs. I have high hopes this will work! I need to lose at a minimum 10lbs a month and will feel successful with my goal. Hopefully the world around me can offer there support and encouragement with my goal. I need to get this body to a healthier weight to carry a child again!
As a side note, I find this terribly ironic and insensitive all at the same time...we had secret santa at work and my santa gave me DOVE CHOCOLATES! WTH! and HOT CHOCOLATE! This person mind you knew full and well that I am exercising and eating healthier so why on earth would he give me candy!
Other than my unsually crappy mood, Christmas was a lot of fun! Hannah opened her presents herself and played with all of her toys! I was pretty impressed since a lot of people were telling me that this Christmas wouldn't be fun. I beg to differ.
My MIL said to me, "Next year will be a lot more fun, she will be more interested in her toys." Don't ask me where that comment came from because neither Tom nor I complained about Christmas not being "fun." Sometimes I think people just talk to hear themselves talk.
A friend acquaintance of mine has recently made several attempts to re-kindle our friendship and even though she was given my phone number and email two months ago, she just now sent me an email on 12-23. I thought it rather interesting because I have not spoken to her in close to five years, our friendship did not end on good terms and I was fine with it. When I stop a friendship it is justifiable and the fact that she turned super shady and never paid my mother back a substantial amount of money was all the reasoning I needed to stop seeing her. So any-who, she sent me an email about how sorry she is and how she thinks about me often...blah, blah, blah. At first I replied that what happened that long ago is not a big deal anymore, etc, etc...but the more I think about her the more annoyed I get. I have all the friends that I need and really don't want anymore. If I cut you off it was for good reason and I am really not looking to re-kindle our lost friendship. I have two best friends that I have never had a falling out with and that is all I want. I don't need any fair-weather friends. Thankfully I managed to rid myself of all of them and don't want them back. Is this mean of me? I kind of feel like I am being mean, unkind and unChristian. But I really just don't want to let people that have done me wrong in the past back into my world...maybe that is too much to ask?
I think I need a vacation, but for now I'll settle on venting on this blog. Thanks to anyone that actually made it to the bottom of this post, your comments are appreciated!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Exercise
It's a necessary evil...
I decided yesterday that I didn't need to exercise anymore. Made up my mind and that was that. I finally wrote my trainer an email and of course she wrote me one back. So guess what I am still going to be doing, that's right...exercise!
It is really nice to know that a lot of people are supporting me with my fitness. When my co-workers heard me talking about it yesterday they piped up that I should keep going. I thought that was rather sweet. My parents and my friends are all very supportive but the one person that I need behind me isn't. Deep down I know that the guilt I feel from him constantly is what got in my head the most. My husband absolutely hates that I go and exercise and continually tells me that I don't need to go and that I am leaving my family, etc. I don't know why he acts like this considering he has lost over 100 pounds and I have only lost about 20 thus far. I clearly need to lose weight but he is a jerk about it.
I did reduce my workout schedule to three days a week. Hopefully I can keep going and Tom won't feel so neglected. I don't know you would think your husband would want you to lose weight.
I decided yesterday that I didn't need to exercise anymore. Made up my mind and that was that. I finally wrote my trainer an email and of course she wrote me one back. So guess what I am still going to be doing, that's right...exercise!
It is really nice to know that a lot of people are supporting me with my fitness. When my co-workers heard me talking about it yesterday they piped up that I should keep going. I thought that was rather sweet. My parents and my friends are all very supportive but the one person that I need behind me isn't. Deep down I know that the guilt I feel from him constantly is what got in my head the most. My husband absolutely hates that I go and exercise and continually tells me that I don't need to go and that I am leaving my family, etc. I don't know why he acts like this considering he has lost over 100 pounds and I have only lost about 20 thus far. I clearly need to lose weight but he is a jerk about it.
I did reduce my workout schedule to three days a week. Hopefully I can keep going and Tom won't feel so neglected. I don't know you would think your husband would want you to lose weight.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Woo-Hoo!
So I've lost about 15 pounds thus far and am able to finally wear my winter pants that were a size too small! Yay!
I officially went through my closet and took out any and all maternity clothes and put them away...I'll admit it, I was still wearing some of the pants to work...I know.
I can RUN, that's right you read it, RUN on the treadmill...I have been working on doing it at intervals and was quite surprised that I could run and walk at high speeds for thirty minutes (or longer some days). Even still I'll be on the treadmill and I'll say aloud, "I can't believe I'm running!"
So that's made me pretty darn happy lately, I'm all proud of myself and what not.
Now that we have talked about me...Hannah Banana is trying to be a walking fool. She is pretty close to walking but it might take her just a little bit longer to master it. She is getting a lot braver and will walk with you if you hold one of her hands and she is starting to let go of things and walk a short amount before she loses her balance or a toy trips her up.
Yesterday I was really thinking something was wrong with her because she was falling down every two seconds it seemed. Then I realized why...she was letting go of whatever she was holding onto and trying to walk! I'll try to capture her on video this week so you can see this crazy little girl in action...she is a trip!
I officially went through my closet and took out any and all maternity clothes and put them away...I'll admit it, I was still wearing some of the pants to work...I know.
I can RUN, that's right you read it, RUN on the treadmill...I have been working on doing it at intervals and was quite surprised that I could run and walk at high speeds for thirty minutes (or longer some days). Even still I'll be on the treadmill and I'll say aloud, "I can't believe I'm running!"
So that's made me pretty darn happy lately, I'm all proud of myself and what not.
Now that we have talked about me...Hannah Banana is trying to be a walking fool. She is pretty close to walking but it might take her just a little bit longer to master it. She is getting a lot braver and will walk with you if you hold one of her hands and she is starting to let go of things and walk a short amount before she loses her balance or a toy trips her up.
Yesterday I was really thinking something was wrong with her because she was falling down every two seconds it seemed. Then I realized why...she was letting go of whatever she was holding onto and trying to walk! I'll try to capture her on video this week so you can see this crazy little girl in action...she is a trip!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Yay Me!
I am so excited! I have lost ten pounds in the past two weeks! Wa-hoo!
I also accomplished walking two and a quarter miles yesterday along with 50 crunches and various arm weights. Yay!
I also accomplished walking two and a quarter miles yesterday along with 50 crunches and various arm weights. Yay!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Fat? Homely? Poor? Oh My!
Last Thursday as I wrapped up my shopping trip in Walmart accompanied by Hannie and my one of my BF's. I am getting rung up by the cashier and as she swipes my formula can she says:
Cashier: Do you have your WIC card?
Me: What?
C: If you have your WIC card you can get your formula for free.
Me: I make too much money to qualify for WIC.
C: Oh okay.
Later on as I am riding back to my friends house I got to thinking. Do I look poor? Then we both enjoyed a good laugh at that WTF moment in the Ghetto-Mart.
Next day, I went to have my blood work done for the Diabetes Center. Please note Diabetes Center.
Lab Tech: Why are you bouncing that baby?
Me: Just 'cause.
LT: Well stop it. If you keep doing that she won't understand the difference when you do it when she is upset.
She rambled on more about this topic and then stopped. Okay as unwanted as her advice is I can see her logic.
A few seconds later:
LT: Do you have diabetes?
Me: I had Type 2 before I was pregnant and now they are telling me that I am in a pre-diabetic state.
LT: That's weird, I have never heard of that
LT: Let me tell you a secret
Me: (Oh dear Lord what now) What's that
LT: Gastric bypass cures diabetes
Me: Oh (Thinking to myself no she didn't)
LT: My sister had it and girl let me tell you she is so skinny and she is a baby making machine!
Me: Good for her
LT: You should get it, insurance will pay for it just like that (snaps fingers)
Me: Oh, hmm (How freaking rude!)
LT: My sister she so fertile she had to terminate three of her pregnancies, she just kept getting pregnant and finally they told her she had to get her tubes tied.
Me: Mmm
What the heck! I do not want to hear about your sister's abortion, I do not want to hear about her diabetes and I don't want your skinny ass telling me to get Gastric Bypass! Mind your own business!
She also informed me that she knows how hard it is to lose weight because she has been trying very hard to lose ten pounds since last year and she just can't seem to do it. "She is just not movitvated enough to get up and exercise."
I wanted to tell her that is so sad for her it must be hard to be a size four and ten pounds over weight, how does she possibly manage to get out of bed every morning.
But I didn't and I never do say anything rude back to people even when they are rude to me. I guess my parents raised me better than that.
Cashier: Do you have your WIC card?
Me: What?
C: If you have your WIC card you can get your formula for free.
Me: I make too much money to qualify for WIC.
C: Oh okay.
Later on as I am riding back to my friends house I got to thinking. Do I look poor? Then we both enjoyed a good laugh at that WTF moment in the Ghetto-Mart.
Next day, I went to have my blood work done for the Diabetes Center. Please note Diabetes Center.
Lab Tech: Why are you bouncing that baby?
Me: Just 'cause.
LT: Well stop it. If you keep doing that she won't understand the difference when you do it when she is upset.
She rambled on more about this topic and then stopped. Okay as unwanted as her advice is I can see her logic.
A few seconds later:
LT: Do you have diabetes?
Me: I had Type 2 before I was pregnant and now they are telling me that I am in a pre-diabetic state.
LT: That's weird, I have never heard of that
LT: Let me tell you a secret
Me: (Oh dear Lord what now) What's that
LT: Gastric bypass cures diabetes
Me: Oh (Thinking to myself no she didn't)
LT: My sister had it and girl let me tell you she is so skinny and she is a baby making machine!
Me: Good for her
LT: You should get it, insurance will pay for it just like that (snaps fingers)
Me: Oh, hmm (How freaking rude!)
LT: My sister she so fertile she had to terminate three of her pregnancies, she just kept getting pregnant and finally they told her she had to get her tubes tied.
Me: Mmm
What the heck! I do not want to hear about your sister's abortion, I do not want to hear about her diabetes and I don't want your skinny ass telling me to get Gastric Bypass! Mind your own business!
She also informed me that she knows how hard it is to lose weight because she has been trying very hard to lose ten pounds since last year and she just can't seem to do it. "She is just not movitvated enough to get up and exercise."
I wanted to tell her that is so sad for her it must be hard to be a size four and ten pounds over weight, how does she possibly manage to get out of bed every morning.
But I didn't and I never do say anything rude back to people even when they are rude to me. I guess my parents raised me better than that.
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