The Winds of Change

The last two days have been very emotional for me as I try to sort out my obesity, my mind and what needs done about the two. Yesterday was a pivotal moment for me at work. I was sitting at my desk when in pops an email that cake is served in celebration of April birthdays. Instantly I wanted cake, BAD! I sat there contemplating if I should get a slice all the while knowing I shouldn't and that I should adhere to my diet. I could feel the anxiety creeping in, I started rubbing my forehead feverishly as if it would rub away my want for cake. With nothing left to do but think about cake I got up and did my walk for the day. As I drew near the end of my walk I started to cry, it dawned on me that I could really use a "sponsor" to help me with this and assure me that I'm doing the right thing or to talk me off the cliff of a slice of cake. I thought about that some more and how I feel like I need counseling because this is something so much bigger than me and I can't control it, at least not by myself.

Today I'm still thinking about everything. Like an answered prayer my BF randomly tells me that she is there whenever I need to talk and get through cravings. As if she was reading my mind she thought I need counseling, for-real counseling. I couldn't have agreed more. I need to talk to someone and try to get past these demons in my head. I know what triggered my obesity and I know it is something that people can't just "get over." This time I need someone's help and I need them to help my mind more than anything.

Monday, I will start my first day with a man who is SUPER nice and he is going to get me going in the right path of nutrition and fitness. I am very excited about this and I hope that this is what finally gets me to my goal of being thin(ner).

Hopefully with the new three-pronged plan I'll get to where I need to be!