Just Leave Me Alone!

I am so in that kind of mood this week.

It seems like every moment I am at work I am pulled in a thousand directions. Then I get home and enjoy Hannah and when she goes to bed I am ready to just lay in bed watching TV or reading a book until bed time rolls around.

I haven't exercised in a week due to schedule conflicts and Christmas thrown in for good measure and just when I think this week is going to go well I ran late at work-what would have been my first day back exercising. Needless to say I didn't exercise Monday.

I am hoping my trainer doesn't think I am ignoring her on purpose because I was on a roll and hope to continue my progress sometime-eventually this week. I have also decided I am going to join the Y! I am pretty excited for that and am really hoping my husband will agree to come as well! My mom is going to go with me so that will be super fun. She used to be a fitness fanatic in her younger years so I am interested to see if she becomes that way once again.

I have set my goal to lose a minimum of 80 pounds by next October. With really trying to lose over 100lbs but I don't want to feel too overwhelmed so I just keep telling myself 80lbs. I have high hopes this will work! I need to lose at a minimum 10lbs a month and will feel successful with my goal. Hopefully the world around me can offer there support and encouragement with my goal. I need to get this body to a healthier weight to carry a child again!

As a side note, I find this terribly ironic and insensitive all at the same time...we had secret santa at work and my santa gave me DOVE CHOCOLATES! WTH! and HOT CHOCOLATE! This person mind you knew full and well that I am exercising and eating healthier so why on earth would he give me candy!

Other than my unsually crappy mood, Christmas was a lot of fun! Hannah opened her presents herself and played with all of her toys! I was pretty impressed since a lot of people were telling me that this Christmas wouldn't be fun. I beg to differ.

My MIL said to me, "Next year will be a lot more fun, she will be more interested in her toys." Don't ask me where that comment came from because neither Tom nor I complained about Christmas not being "fun." Sometimes I think people just talk to hear themselves talk.

A friend acquaintance of mine has recently made several attempts to re-kindle our friendship and even though she was given my phone number and email two months ago, she just now sent me an email on 12-23. I thought it rather interesting because I have not spoken to her in close to five years, our friendship did not end on good terms and I was fine with it. When I stop a friendship it is justifiable and the fact that she turned super shady and never paid my mother back a substantial amount of money was all the reasoning I needed to stop seeing her. So any-who, she sent me an email about how sorry she is and how she thinks about me often...blah, blah, blah. At first I replied that what happened that long ago is not a big deal anymore, etc, etc...but the more I think about her the more annoyed I get. I have all the friends that I need and really don't want anymore. If I cut you off it was for good reason and I am really not looking to re-kindle our lost friendship. I have two best friends that I have never had a falling out with and that is all I want. I don't need any fair-weather friends. Thankfully I managed to rid myself of all of them and don't want them back. Is this mean of me? I kind of feel like I am being mean, unkind and unChristian. But I really just don't want to let people that have done me wrong in the past back into my world...maybe that is too much to ask?

I think I need a vacation, but for now I'll settle on venting on this blog. Thanks to anyone that actually made it to the bottom of this post, your comments are appreciated!