Friend or Foe?

As badly as I want to vent about friend(s) that get on my nerves here on the blog, I can't. I wish I could, I would feel a lot better getting it all out there, but I can't. You may be thinking to yourself why don't you talk to the person about it, we have, nothing changes. Their motto is "I am 'name' this is who I am." But lets just say I  have to be around this person, it's not like someone you know that you don't have to see that much, then you could just ignore them, this person you see day in and day out. There is no escape from the digs and negative projections that are afflicted on me every day. This "friend" can't see past the end of there own nose. I have talked to other friends about the issues at hand and they can see it too.  I  decided it is this cloud of negativity that upsets everyone's psyche which helps me to know that I am not alone!

My problem to in all of this is that I don't fight with my true friends. There is never an unkind word spoken to one another. They are your safe harbor the person that will always be there for you when things go bad and you are there for them, without judgement, without negativity. I wouldn't want a friend any other way. I want and need to have a sisterly relationship with my friends. I want to be able to have my friends in my life until the day I die. I don't want to fight and argue. I don't want to dread seeing them everyday. I want to be excited with their happiness. I am that way with all of my friends, but one.

I know that with my own self I never forget anything, however I will forgive if you ask for forgiveness. This person has never asked for forgiveness. They never say they are sorry if they hurt my feelings and half the time I don't think they even realize that they did something hurtful or rude towards me. But they do, every day, and it hurts.

There is no way to end this insanity, I just don't want to deal with them anymore. So today I told a friend about all the hurtful things that have been said to me and she confided to me the hurtful things they have done to her. I feel much better now. But I still don't want to be her friend.

Just as a little glimpse of a snide comment made to me while going through infertility treatments: "It is better to be like you and not be able to have children, than to miscarry and lose your baby."

Yes it is like that, everday. I bet you dollars to donuts this post comes back to bite me, but I really don't care!