Reading this article today reminded me of my friend Irene and what she told me a few months back.
She had called me and was talking to me about going to the psychic. She loves psychics and takes everything they say as the gospel truth. Irene wanted me to go to a new psychic she discovered and gave me her name and phone number. Of course I was not going to but obliged her by taking the name and number. She called a little bit later and asked if I ever went, I told her no, but if she wants to ask the psychic something about me while she is there, she is more than welcome.
Irene goes to her appointment and gives the woman my name and date of birth. Irene said that was all she gave her.
Psychic: I see she has female problems, has she had a miscarriage?
Irene: No I don't think so.
P: I see something there...she has something wrong with her.
P: Tell her not to worry, she will have a son within the next three years. He will have fair skin and she will love him with all of her heart.
I don't know what else was said but this is what she reported back to me from her visit. I still think about that some-days and it gives me a chuckle! I think it was pretty ballsy of the psychic to name specifics like, it will be a boy, he will have fair skin and it will be within the next three years. I have to admit it does make me wonder!
Friday, April 27, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Losing Weight
Well as most of you know I have lost about 7-8 pounds. I have cut back on my eating entirely. Prior to my weight loss I was not watching what I ate and not exercising. Now, I eat three meals a day and I only eat a snack if necessary.
I have not eaten any bread, rolls, crackers, chips, candy, cake, etc, etc. This was super hard for me as I am addicted to food just like a smoker is addicted to cigarettes. I hadn't realized how addicted I was to food. The first few days of my "detox" I was ready to literally pull my hair out! I am much better now though and am really sticking to what I deemed as healthy.
My typical day is:
Breakfast: Light and Fit Carb and Sugar Control yogurt, an apple
Lunch: Salad or Some form of meat and vegetables
Dinner: 2 Fried eggs on wheat bread or some form of meat and vegetables or salad
Snacks: Carrots, applesauce, string cheese, Carb-Smart Ice Cream bar
I don't typically snack, but if I do, the above would be a possible item I might eat.
I am also walking about one mile a day. I will eventually join a gym when I start to plateau but for now I am going to do the above.
I was/am an emotional eater so anytime something upset me I would eat. This thing with my "friend" has kind of set me off a little. I am trying to ignore it so that I can keep my eye on the big picture. Losing weight.
How does everyone else lose weight? Suggestions? Recipes?
I have not eaten any bread, rolls, crackers, chips, candy, cake, etc, etc. This was super hard for me as I am addicted to food just like a smoker is addicted to cigarettes. I hadn't realized how addicted I was to food. The first few days of my "detox" I was ready to literally pull my hair out! I am much better now though and am really sticking to what I deemed as healthy.
My typical day is:
Breakfast: Light and Fit Carb and Sugar Control yogurt, an apple
Lunch: Salad or Some form of meat and vegetables
Dinner: 2 Fried eggs on wheat bread or some form of meat and vegetables or salad
Snacks: Carrots, applesauce, string cheese, Carb-Smart Ice Cream bar
I don't typically snack, but if I do, the above would be a possible item I might eat.
I am also walking about one mile a day. I will eventually join a gym when I start to plateau but for now I am going to do the above.
I was/am an emotional eater so anytime something upset me I would eat. This thing with my "friend" has kind of set me off a little. I am trying to ignore it so that I can keep my eye on the big picture. Losing weight.
How does everyone else lose weight? Suggestions? Recipes?
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
The Letter...
Dear Rachel, I am writing to you instead of calling because I want the opportunity to relay my thought in a clear, concise manner without interruption. I will try to remain as inoffensive as possible.
The thing that really got to me and the reason I chose to write to you was in regards to your phone call informing me of your abortion. I don’t think that you had any right to lay the burden on my shoulders of what I feel is a sinful act of violence towards an innocent life. Especially when you know that I am trying to obtain the very life you threw away. I feel that your attempt at justifying what you did only makes you look worse. It appeared to me that you were only lying to justify yourself to me. In my opinion, the only reason you had the abortion is because you are no longer with the father and you didn’t want to look bad. I understand that this will be something that you’ll have to live with for the rest of your life and I hope you ask the Lord’s forgiveness. For what it is worth I hope you’ll take the following advice seriously.
It is my belief that your many issues with men stem from your own actions. You say I love you long before you ever give those feelings time to develop. Perhaps your relationships would last longer if you allowed more time to get to know one another. Even if it takes not sleeping with them until you are married. You should know by now that most men are out to get one thing and if you haven’t learned that in 23 years, I wonder if you ever will. If a man leaves you just because you WON’T sleep with them, then they weren’t worth being with in the first place. I would also like to point out that whatever illnesses you think you have are all in your head. If the Doctors can’t find anything medically wrong with you, then that is just it, there is nothing wrong with you. I hope that you stop your addiction to Percoset. I am wondering if that is making you feel worse.
I would venture to say that what you’re really going after is love, attention and kindness, things you never received from your mother. But there comes a time when you need to move on from what has happened to you in the past. I would even go so far as to say you should seek out a therapist to work through these issues. Finally, I believe that you need to redefine, for your own self, what a friend is. Friendship is a two-way street, where both people have the opportunity to vent and console one another. This “friendship” between you and I over the last couple of months has been the exact opposite of how I would choose to have a friendship with you. You have done nothing but complain about your life all the while giving me very little opportunity to tell you of mine. So not only have I had to bear the burden of my own trials and tribulations, I’ve had to bear yours as well (one of the reasons I stopped talking to Leann). I feel at this time I am unable and unwilling to carry this friendship with someone so selfish. I hope that you take what I have said here and apply it in order to become a better person.
Sincerely,
P.S. If it is love that you are searching for perhaps you should know the Bibles definition:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
I hope this will help you as you choose relationships in the future.
I also included this on a seperate sheet of paper:
Something you should know about women dealing with Infertility:
The thing that really got to me and the reason I chose to write to you was in regards to your phone call informing me of your abortion. I don’t think that you had any right to lay the burden on my shoulders of what I feel is a sinful act of violence towards an innocent life. Especially when you know that I am trying to obtain the very life you threw away. I feel that your attempt at justifying what you did only makes you look worse. It appeared to me that you were only lying to justify yourself to me. In my opinion, the only reason you had the abortion is because you are no longer with the father and you didn’t want to look bad. I understand that this will be something that you’ll have to live with for the rest of your life and I hope you ask the Lord’s forgiveness. For what it is worth I hope you’ll take the following advice seriously.
It is my belief that your many issues with men stem from your own actions. You say I love you long before you ever give those feelings time to develop. Perhaps your relationships would last longer if you allowed more time to get to know one another. Even if it takes not sleeping with them until you are married. You should know by now that most men are out to get one thing and if you haven’t learned that in 23 years, I wonder if you ever will. If a man leaves you just because you WON’T sleep with them, then they weren’t worth being with in the first place. I would also like to point out that whatever illnesses you think you have are all in your head. If the Doctors can’t find anything medically wrong with you, then that is just it, there is nothing wrong with you. I hope that you stop your addiction to Percoset. I am wondering if that is making you feel worse.
I would venture to say that what you’re really going after is love, attention and kindness, things you never received from your mother. But there comes a time when you need to move on from what has happened to you in the past. I would even go so far as to say you should seek out a therapist to work through these issues. Finally, I believe that you need to redefine, for your own self, what a friend is. Friendship is a two-way street, where both people have the opportunity to vent and console one another. This “friendship” between you and I over the last couple of months has been the exact opposite of how I would choose to have a friendship with you. You have done nothing but complain about your life all the while giving me very little opportunity to tell you of mine. So not only have I had to bear the burden of my own trials and tribulations, I’ve had to bear yours as well (one of the reasons I stopped talking to Leann). I feel at this time I am unable and unwilling to carry this friendship with someone so selfish. I hope that you take what I have said here and apply it in order to become a better person.
Sincerely,
P.S. If it is love that you are searching for perhaps you should know the Bibles definition:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
I hope this will help you as you choose relationships in the future.
I also included this on a seperate sheet of paper:
Something you should know about women dealing with Infertility:
- I wish you would not be afraid to speak to me about my infertility, and to ask what you can do to help.
- If I cry or get emotional when we talk about them, I wish you knew that it isn’t because you have hurt me. The fact that I have suffered has caused my tears. You have allowed me to cry, and I thank you. Crying and emotional outbursts are healing.
- I wish you wouldn’t pretend that nothing is happening to me, because it is a large part of my life. I need my friends and family by my side.
- I will have emotional highs and lows, ups and downs. I wish you wouldn’t think that if I have a good day, my grief is over, or that if I have a bad day, I need psychiatric counseling.
- Being an infertile person is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn’t shy away from me.
- I wish you knew that all of the “crazy” grief reactions I am having are in fact very normal. Depression, anger, frustration, hopelessness, and questioning of values and beliefs are to be expected during and following what is happening to me.
- I wish you wouldn’t expect my grief to be over if and when I become pregnant or have children.
- I wish you would understand the physical reactions to grief. I may gain weight or lose weight…sleep all the time or not at all…want to surround myself with business or be all alone, all of which may be related to my grief.
- The days I find out that this cycle too was a bust, are all terrible times for me. I wish you could tell me that you are thinking about me, and if I get quite withdrawn, just know I am doing my best to cope. Please don’t try to coerce me into being cheerful or tell me that it will be better soon.
- It is normal and good that most of us re-examine our faith, values, and beliefs throughout this journey. We will question things we have been taught all our lives, and hopefully come to some new understandings to include those with God. I wish you would let me tangle with my religion, opinions, and beliefs without making me feel guilty.
- I wish you would not offer me drinks or drugs to ease the pain. These are just temporary crutches. The only way I can get through this grief is to experience it, and sometimes immerse myself in it. I have to hurt before I can heal.
- I wish you understood that infertility changes people. I am not the same person I was before I experienced it nor will I ever be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to “get back to my old self,” you will be frustrated. I am a new creature with new thoughts, dreams, aspirations, values, and beliefs. Please try and get to know the “new me”…maybe you will still like me.
And Then I Heard, Abortion
Yesterday, my friend Phyllis brought her granddaughter Hannah Rose for a visit at work. I was excited to see her because at not even one year old she sounds like a very intelligent child. The first time I heard her name I was upset because I had always planned on using Hannah Rose for my daughters name, which that never happened. So any-who I made it through seeing Hannah.
A couple hours later my "friend" Rachel calls. I answer the phone knowing that it will of course be some type of sob story as it normally is. I never expected her to tell me she had an abortion. She has told me for a long time, to be more precise since she found out I was trying to conceive, that she wanted to have a baby. I thought at the time that this was ridiculous because she is never in a serious committed relationship or dare I say MARRIED! About a month ago she said again how she wanted to have a baby with a guy named Donnie that she had been dating for about a month maybe two. She went on an on about how even though she has "so much pain" all the time she would still have a baby. She is a hypochondriac that is always complaining about having pain and "the doctors don't know what is wrong with her." She has been addicted to percosets for over a year and "she needs them for the pain." So she calls and not right away but soon enough she starts.
R: I am pregnant
H: What? Your pregnant?
R: Well I had an abortion.
H: (Silence)
R: I was having a lot of pain and I was sick all the time, I was bleeding and I went to the doctors. The doctor said that I am carrying low and will probably have a miscarriage. So my mom took me to have an abortion.
(Not a hint of sadness or regret was in this girls voice)
R: I was in a lot of pain and my mom keeps calling me a drug addict, but I am in pain. If I need the medicine I am going to take it.
H: Didn't you say you wanted to be pregnant?
R: Well I was in a lot of pain and was probably going to have a miscarriage anyway.
H: Hmmmm.......
R: I was thinking I shouldn't tell Heather because you have been trying to get pregnant for a long time, but, you are my best friend
H: Hmm
(A little bit later in the conversation)
R: Me and Donnie aren't together anymore
H: Oh
(Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner! This is the real reason she had an abortion, she was lying about all the above listed aliments.)
I listened to her ramble on a little longer and then told her I needed to get back to work and needed to let her go. Needless to say I was fifty shades of pissed and hurt. How dare she call me and so selfishly tell me she had an abortion! I don't need nor want to hear that shit. She should never have done that, besides the fact that I am trying to get pregnant, I am pro-life, what she did disgusts me. I was having a wretched day after her phone call and my face was so flushed with anger I thought my head might have exploded. I called L to vent and she was just as pissed as I was. I left work an hour early and went to L's. I told her I was going to write Rachel a letter because I don't think I can say anything to her on the phone with out cussing her up one side and down the other. L and I wrote a letter to her that is about four pages long. I am done with this girl. I hope to God she never calls me again. I haven't been her best friend since we were like eleven and I am sick to death of hearing about all her self created drama. Not once has she ever asked how I am doing or how getting pregnant is going, nothing. She is selfish and only wants to talk about her self and I am sick of it!
A couple hours later my "friend" Rachel calls. I answer the phone knowing that it will of course be some type of sob story as it normally is. I never expected her to tell me she had an abortion. She has told me for a long time, to be more precise since she found out I was trying to conceive, that she wanted to have a baby. I thought at the time that this was ridiculous because she is never in a serious committed relationship or dare I say MARRIED! About a month ago she said again how she wanted to have a baby with a guy named Donnie that she had been dating for about a month maybe two. She went on an on about how even though she has "so much pain" all the time she would still have a baby. She is a hypochondriac that is always complaining about having pain and "the doctors don't know what is wrong with her." She has been addicted to percosets for over a year and "she needs them for the pain." So she calls and not right away but soon enough she starts.
R: I am pregnant
H: What? Your pregnant?
R: Well I had an abortion.
H: (Silence)
R: I was having a lot of pain and I was sick all the time, I was bleeding and I went to the doctors. The doctor said that I am carrying low and will probably have a miscarriage. So my mom took me to have an abortion.
(Not a hint of sadness or regret was in this girls voice)
R: I was in a lot of pain and my mom keeps calling me a drug addict, but I am in pain. If I need the medicine I am going to take it.
H: Didn't you say you wanted to be pregnant?
R: Well I was in a lot of pain and was probably going to have a miscarriage anyway.
H: Hmmmm.......
R: I was thinking I shouldn't tell Heather because you have been trying to get pregnant for a long time, but, you are my best friend
H: Hmm
(A little bit later in the conversation)
R: Me and Donnie aren't together anymore
H: Oh
(Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner! This is the real reason she had an abortion, she was lying about all the above listed aliments.)
I listened to her ramble on a little longer and then told her I needed to get back to work and needed to let her go. Needless to say I was fifty shades of pissed and hurt. How dare she call me and so selfishly tell me she had an abortion! I don't need nor want to hear that shit. She should never have done that, besides the fact that I am trying to get pregnant, I am pro-life, what she did disgusts me. I was having a wretched day after her phone call and my face was so flushed with anger I thought my head might have exploded. I called L to vent and she was just as pissed as I was. I left work an hour early and went to L's. I told her I was going to write Rachel a letter because I don't think I can say anything to her on the phone with out cussing her up one side and down the other. L and I wrote a letter to her that is about four pages long. I am done with this girl. I hope to God she never calls me again. I haven't been her best friend since we were like eleven and I am sick to death of hearing about all her self created drama. Not once has she ever asked how I am doing or how getting pregnant is going, nothing. She is selfish and only wants to talk about her self and I am sick of it!
Monday, April 23, 2007
What a Wonderful Weekend!
I had the nicest weekend doing nothing in-particular!
Saturday Tom and I hung out with my Mom and Dad and then just my Dad because my Mom had to work. It was really nice to spend time with my Dad. (He works out of town all week and is only home on the weekends.) Then I FINALLY bought mulch and laid that down and it really made my tulips pop! Then I enjoyed a nice sit on the porch, doing nothing, it was great!
Sunday I woke up and went to the grocery store,( literally I was in mypajamas lounge wear), I of course bumped in to the lady that used to do my hair and we chatted a bit. I felt slightly uncomfortable because I haven't gone to her since August because she was cutting my hair off way to short. Then I went home, assisted Tom with the mower. He had hit a mystery rock that dented the metal that cover the blades and it wouldn't run so I had to help him hold the thing and also make sure he didn't cut his finger off! ;-)
Then we sat around watching TV so I decided to go out and enjoy the nice air and read a book on the porch. It felt just like summer!
Oooo, I almost forgot, drumroll please.....I have lost SEVEN POUNDS this past week! Yay!
What a great weekend! How was everyone else's weekend?
Saturday Tom and I hung out with my Mom and Dad and then just my Dad because my Mom had to work. It was really nice to spend time with my Dad. (He works out of town all week and is only home on the weekends.) Then I FINALLY bought mulch and laid that down and it really made my tulips pop! Then I enjoyed a nice sit on the porch, doing nothing, it was great!
Sunday I woke up and went to the grocery store,( literally I was in my
Then we sat around watching TV so I decided to go out and enjoy the nice air and read a book on the porch. It felt just like summer!
Oooo, I almost forgot, drumroll please.....I have lost SEVEN POUNDS this past week! Yay!
What a great weekend! How was everyone else's weekend?
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Parents
Do you ever hear one of those songs that just gets you? It is like that for me everytime I hear Jamie O'Neal's Somebody's Hero. It really reminds me of my mother and things that happen through out the course of life. I must admit it makes me cry.
It reminds me of how one day my parents will be gone from this Earth. That really scares the hell out of me. I LOVE my parents so much and I can not imagine life with out them. I think as I get older I realize the days are getting shorter with them. I am not saying they are going to die anytime soon. I guess I am just trying to prepare myself for the inevitable. My mother will be 50 next year and my dad will be 58 this year. WOW! It seems like no time, that we all just keep getting older and older, myself included. I bet they think the same thing about me.
I don't know I guess I have been thinking about that a lot. I had a dream about a month ago that my mom died and it has really put this in the front of my mind. I suppose there is nothing I can do but just let them know I love them and appreciate them.
Does anyone else think about this or am I just some morbid weirdo?
It reminds me of how one day my parents will be gone from this Earth. That really scares the hell out of me. I LOVE my parents so much and I can not imagine life with out them. I think as I get older I realize the days are getting shorter with them. I am not saying they are going to die anytime soon. I guess I am just trying to prepare myself for the inevitable. My mother will be 50 next year and my dad will be 58 this year. WOW! It seems like no time, that we all just keep getting older and older, myself included. I bet they think the same thing about me.
I don't know I guess I have been thinking about that a lot. I had a dream about a month ago that my mom died and it has really put this in the front of my mind. I suppose there is nothing I can do but just let them know I love them and appreciate them.
Does anyone else think about this or am I just some morbid weirdo?
Something Nice...
My friend sent this to me in an email and I thought I would share...
I was thinking…I could die today, tomorrow or next week, and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships or relationships that needed rekindling or three words needing to be said.
One day a woman’s husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t anymore. No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more “just one minute.”
Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return, before we can say good-bye.So while we have it, its best we love it, care for it, fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick. This is true for marriage … and old cars … and children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents.
We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.Some things we keep — like a best friend who moved away or a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.
Life is important, like people we know who are special. and so, we keep them close!
Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends & family know you love them? Let every one of your friends & family know you love them. Even if you think they don’t love you back, you would be amazed at what those three little words and a smile can do.
And just in case GOD calls me home …..I LOVE YA!!!
I was thinking…I could die today, tomorrow or next week, and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships or relationships that needed rekindling or three words needing to be said.
One day a woman’s husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t anymore. No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more “just one minute.”
Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return, before we can say good-bye.So while we have it, its best we love it, care for it, fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick. This is true for marriage … and old cars … and children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents.
We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.Some things we keep — like a best friend who moved away or a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.
Life is important, like people we know who are special. and so, we keep them close!
Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends & family know you love them? Let every one of your friends & family know you love them. Even if you think they don’t love you back, you would be amazed at what those three little words and a smile can do.
And just in case GOD calls me home …..I LOVE YA!!!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Interview From Mama Doggy Love
1) You got married when you were 19. Did you always know you would marry young or did fate just step in?
I was never one of those people that all they dreamed of was getting married. We had been together since I was thirteen and after the years are love grew stronger until we decided to get married. I would say fate just stepped in!
2) You LOVE Vera Bradley! What was your first Vera Bradley item and how did you come to love it so much?
I really can't even remember my first one, I think it was a Picadilly Plum Lucy. Maybe.
My friend that I worked with got me hooked on them. She was an addict and was always telling me to get one, now I just love em! I did used to hate them and thought they were ugly. Shame on me! :-(
3) You love country music. If you could only listen to one country singer, who would it be and why?
BRAD PAISLEY!!! I just love that man! There is something about his voice. His lyrics are great too, they often times have a subtle humor about them. He also sings about things I can relate to or things that I believe in. I just love him!!! (Did I mention he is smokin' hot)
4) How did your nickname of “Heddy” come about?
When I was little my Grandpa started to call me that and it just stuck. Now EVERYONE seems to call me Heddy, even my co-workers! My real name is Heather. Grandpa also called me Jug-Butt and I always hated it. Not sure why he called me that but I think it was because I was overweight.
5) What is your dream job?
Owning my own farm and working the land!
Thanks for the questions! That was super fun!
I was never one of those people that all they dreamed of was getting married. We had been together since I was thirteen and after the years are love grew stronger until we decided to get married. I would say fate just stepped in!
2) You LOVE Vera Bradley! What was your first Vera Bradley item and how did you come to love it so much?
I really can't even remember my first one, I think it was a Picadilly Plum Lucy. Maybe.
My friend that I worked with got me hooked on them. She was an addict and was always telling me to get one, now I just love em! I did used to hate them and thought they were ugly. Shame on me! :-(
3) You love country music. If you could only listen to one country singer, who would it be and why?
BRAD PAISLEY!!! I just love that man! There is something about his voice. His lyrics are great too, they often times have a subtle humor about them. He also sings about things I can relate to or things that I believe in. I just love him!!! (Did I mention he is smokin' hot)
4) How did your nickname of “Heddy” come about?
When I was little my Grandpa started to call me that and it just stuck. Now EVERYONE seems to call me Heddy, even my co-workers! My real name is Heather. Grandpa also called me Jug-Butt and I always hated it. Not sure why he called me that but I think it was because I was overweight.
5) What is your dream job?
Owning my own farm and working the land!
Thanks for the questions! That was super fun!
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Cigarettes Suck!
Saturday, Tom and I went to his Great Aunt's 70th birthday party. It was super fun, I seem to always end up talking to Aunt Marion who then invited us to go to a bar called George's in Claymont as an "after party." We never hang out with his family so we said okay, plus it was Uncle Tony's birthday.
At the birthday party they were smoking but it didn't seem so bad. Then when we got to the bar everyone including the barmaid was smoking. I didn't care at first because I am used to people smoking around me. But as the hours lingered on my eyes started burning! I mean on fire, you would have thought that a cigarette was in my eye! Then my sinuses started to get all stuffy! Eyes running! It was freaking me out, I thought I was having an allergic reaction.
When we finally left, I the non-drinker got the honor of driving my drunk husband home in the rain. With my eyes on fire.
The next day I had a HORRIBLE headache, I am telling you I thought my head was going to split-open! To my surprise, I still don't feel good and this all happened Saturday. I think I might have developed a sinus infection!
Maybe I am allergic to cigarette smoke? Very strange!
At the birthday party they were smoking but it didn't seem so bad. Then when we got to the bar everyone including the barmaid was smoking. I didn't care at first because I am used to people smoking around me. But as the hours lingered on my eyes started burning! I mean on fire, you would have thought that a cigarette was in my eye! Then my sinuses started to get all stuffy! Eyes running! It was freaking me out, I thought I was having an allergic reaction.
When we finally left, I the non-drinker got the honor of driving my drunk husband home in the rain. With my eyes on fire.
The next day I had a HORRIBLE headache, I am telling you I thought my head was going to split-open! To my surprise, I still don't feel good and this all happened Saturday. I think I might have developed a sinus infection!
Maybe I am allergic to cigarette smoke? Very strange!
Monday, April 16, 2007
OOOOOOooooooooooOOooooo
Google knows me all to well!
Search terms that brought people to my site:
"Fat Girls"
"When God hands you lemons"
That pretty much sums it up!
Search terms that brought people to my site:
"Fat Girls"
"When God hands you lemons"
That pretty much sums it up!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
The Winds of Change
I did it, I made the switch!
After giving it a lot of thought I have decided not to throw away any more money on Dr. R. I feel like he doesn't care enough about my health or about getting me pregnant. If he did he would have done everything a lot differnetly two years ago.
I will now be going to Dr. Feinberg. My first appointment is May 11th. I am really excited! I feel like this change will be good!
My family and friends are all backing me on this decision 100% so I have to be doing the right thing!
Okay I just had to get that out of my system!!! YAY! :mrgreen:
After giving it a lot of thought I have decided not to throw away any more money on Dr. R. I feel like he doesn't care enough about my health or about getting me pregnant. If he did he would have done everything a lot differnetly two years ago.
I will now be going to Dr. Feinberg. My first appointment is May 11th. I am really excited! I feel like this change will be good!
My family and friends are all backing me on this decision 100% so I have to be doing the right thing!
Okay I just had to get that out of my system!!! YAY! :mrgreen:
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Beatings...
Friday, I went over my mom's house after work. My nieces were there and Makayla was climbing all over me and talking a mile a minute. We were playing together and she was getting kind of loud. We must have told her a thousand times to quiet down. Finally we told her "if you don't quiet down Grandma is going to come in here and beat you." Just then Grandma opens the door. I told Mak, "see I told you." Grandma said "what?" We explained what we just told her and she says....
"If she got all the beatings she is promised she wouldn't be able to walk."
This was of course followed by a roar of laughter.
*No we do not beat children that is just the word we use. :-D
"If she got all the beatings she is promised she wouldn't be able to walk."
This was of course followed by a roar of laughter.
*No we do not beat children that is just the word we use. :-D
Dr. R. 4-9-2007
I talked to Dr. R. yesterday.
My ultrasound and blood-work are still base line at day 25. He looks over my chart and asks how everything is going. I explained regular cycles from May to Dec., then nothing until March. He said that my ovaries have gone back to the way they were before surgery (ovary drilling) and he wasn't going to keep pumping me full of drugs. He wants me to see a nutritionist so that when he does put me on drugs again it won't have to be high doses. The nutrionist is $250.00 and conveniantly located at Dr. R.'s office. :roll:
I asked him if I should be taking metformin or glucophage and he said yes. I told him good because I have been taking it since the end of Feb. and I think that is why I got my period in March. As an afterthought I should have asked him why he never put me on it. Also, why didn't he tell me to see a nutritionist two years ago?
I was very annoyed because it felt like he was pulling answers out of his ass. I felt like I wasted thousands of dollars as to which Tom assured me it is not a waste of money.
So whatever, I am back at square one.
My ultrasound and blood-work are still base line at day 25. He looks over my chart and asks how everything is going. I explained regular cycles from May to Dec., then nothing until March. He said that my ovaries have gone back to the way they were before surgery (ovary drilling) and he wasn't going to keep pumping me full of drugs. He wants me to see a nutritionist so that when he does put me on drugs again it won't have to be high doses. The nutrionist is $250.00 and conveniantly located at Dr. R.'s office. :roll:
I asked him if I should be taking metformin or glucophage and he said yes. I told him good because I have been taking it since the end of Feb. and I think that is why I got my period in March. As an afterthought I should have asked him why he never put me on it. Also, why didn't he tell me to see a nutritionist two years ago?
I was very annoyed because it felt like he was pulling answers out of his ass. I felt like I wasted thousands of dollars as to which Tom assured me it is not a waste of money.
So whatever, I am back at square one.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
De-Lurking Day
Hello all you random viewers that are not commenting! Don't leave this blog high and dry! Comments are welcome!
If you are a frequent, sometimes or random visitor, please leave a comment! I would love to hear from you!
If you are a frequent, sometimes or random visitor, please leave a comment! I would love to hear from you!
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
The Tree Border
Thanks to Thinking Out Loud, I thought I too would try my hand at some pictures. Granted her pictures are way better than mine.
I LOVE these trees. They are planted pink, white, pink, white, etc. They are the trees that run the border of our property on the other guys side.
The Mulberry Trees:
The Mulberry trees are in my backyard and they have yummy berries on them in the summer!
Dr. R. 4-2-2007-Update
Well no one called me even though they claim to have.
I called this morning as I am not one for suspense. They want me to come in for a consult with the man himself, Dr.R., Monday at 9:30. They said my body isin't doing anything so I need to see what he wants to do next. I am actually kind of bummed. Part of me just doesn't want to go at all! I think I have put up some kind of wall. I don't know, I guess I'll have to wait and see.
I called this morning as I am not one for suspense. They want me to come in for a consult with the man himself, Dr.R., Monday at 9:30. They said my body isin't doing anything so I need to see what he wants to do next. I am actually kind of bummed. Part of me just doesn't want to go at all! I think I have put up some kind of wall. I don't know, I guess I'll have to wait and see.
Monday, April 2, 2007
The Fire Starter
All night I have been smelling something like wood on fire. I thought that is weird since it is blazing hot in here, who on God's earth would light a fire today. Well....
Around 10:00 I go outside to let the dogs out and notice smoke overcoming the half acre field next to our house. Then I see the origin of this fire. The freshly laid mulch underneath the trees. What the hell!
It looked like maybe half the circle under the tree was smoldering! I run inside and get a drinking glass full of water to douse the flame. No luck, I go back in side and fill my 3 gallon bucket up with water. Poured it over the flame and I'll be dipped in shit if it wasn't still on fire! I had to go back in two more times and fill the bucket up with water to put this mulch fire out!
Fire Marshall Heather to the rescue!
I can conclude that this is my husband's doing (cigarette butt). I am just glad our neighbors didn't see it and call the damn fire brigade! That is about all I need!
Around 10:00 I go outside to let the dogs out and notice smoke overcoming the half acre field next to our house. Then I see the origin of this fire. The freshly laid mulch underneath the trees. What the hell!
It looked like maybe half the circle under the tree was smoldering! I run inside and get a drinking glass full of water to douse the flame. No luck, I go back in side and fill my 3 gallon bucket up with water. Poured it over the flame and I'll be dipped in shit if it wasn't still on fire! I had to go back in two more times and fill the bucket up with water to put this mulch fire out!
Fire Marshall Heather to the rescue!
I can conclude that this is my husband's doing (cigarette butt). I am just glad our neighbors didn't see it and call the damn fire brigade! That is about all I need!
Damn Dogs
Thursday, I went to let my little girls out after work. We don't have a fence so we go out with them and I stand on the porch and let them run and go to the bathroom. I noticed someone out in the field next to us so I waited til they left and then went out with the dogs. As we are out there this jack-ass comes back to the field with his dog. So of course, Callie the simple dog, runs off to greet her new friend. Molly ever fearful stays behind. I start running after her and Molly starts running after me.
Mind you, I have NO bra on, NO shoes on, my
So hear I am running after this damn dog that is not listening to a word I am saying. Callie finally stops to play with this guys dog and then out of the corner of hereye she spots a woman walking down the street that runs in-front of my house. Now she takes off across the street chasing this lady. I run after her and the lady stops as she realizes I am chasing the dog that is chasing her. Then the dogdiverts across the street again and here I go after her again! Did I mention I have poor little Molly tucked under my arm during all of this! So I grap her back and it knocks her legs out so that I can grap her tight a second time. I happily march back to the house with two dogs tucked under my arms looking like a quarterback. With the whole damn neighborhood watching!
I think it is time I invested in a fence, don't ya think?
Dr. R. 4-2-2007
Today was no change. Judy did my scan today and asked how losing weight was going? Losing weight? I am sorry, I GAINED weight....but I didn't tell her that.
Then she asked me if I was on clomid and I told her no, she said she didn't see a consult in my file since I had ovary drilling, ahem....that was in November 2005. I just had a consult on Dec 2006 and I have had other ones before that if memory serves me. Have these people not been properly noting my chart? Did they lose a page(s)? I always see them writing away so that was all very weird.
They are going to call later today to tell me what my blood work looks like. I think they need to write me a prescription for clomid or something. If they want to do these two tests they better get it together! Atleast with clomid I get one egg. Hook a sister up!
Okay I am done rambling now, I'll post more about today when they call.
Then she asked me if I was on clomid and I told her no, she said she didn't see a consult in my file since I had ovary drilling, ahem....that was in November 2005. I just had a consult on Dec 2006 and I have had other ones before that if memory serves me. Have these people not been properly noting my chart? Did they lose a page(s)? I always see them writing away so that was all very weird.
They are going to call later today to tell me what my blood work looks like. I think they need to write me a prescription for clomid or something. If they want to do these two tests they better get it together! Atleast with clomid I get one egg. Hook a sister up!
Okay I am done rambling now, I'll post more about today when they call.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Dr. R. 3-30-2007
So I went Friday. Fancythis was there to provide support! Nothing is going on, I have teeny-tiny follicles that aren't doing anything and my blood work showed that my estrogen and progesterone are low. Lucky me. So I am going back tomorrow at 7:30am and I guess I will have another ultrasound and blood-work. They had mentioned putting me on clomid to try and get things started since I am still baseline on day 17. I feel like taking a break helped me clear my head but I do not want to start back from where I was years ago. I really want to do IVF and when the nurse was on the phone with me Friday she mentioned I might have to come in for a consult so when I do I will tell Dr. R yet again that I want to do IVF. I don't want to waste time and money on insemination because clearly that doesn't work for me. I will try to keep updates on my progress/lack thereof.
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