A few updates on Carter:
Tom and I finally heard back from the speech and development screening the school district performed in March. A couple of weeks ago we met with a group of folks who went over everything with us. Carter has an IEP in place for the coming school year. He will initially have an aide/therapist (what do you call this person?) working with him one day a week. We had him registered for two half days a week (Tuesdays and Thursdays) and are now looking to see if we can bump that up to five full days a week. The school district advised it best to keep him in private school but to increase his time there during the week. They seem very confident we will see improvements with his speech, etc. This all seems well and good so I'm excited this part of life seems to be under control.
The behavior clinics we've been attending are starting to feel like a joke. Recent advice has included letting Carter punch a pillow when he gets angry or to squeeze a squeeze toy when he is going to pinch. I don't see either of these suggestions happening in my future. The solution to him not going to bed is to increase his bed time to a later time!?!?!? Tom and I both left there feeling like these recommendations would just worsen the current issues. I think I'll just figure my own game plan out at this rate.
Other news:
Hannah's last week of preschool is this coming week and she'll be a kindergartner!!! I'm so excited for her!
Amelia is a crazy smart baby and a little sweetie. I can't believe she'll be two in November. I cradled her in my arms like a baby the other day and thought she was way to big already :(
My Granny has not been doing so well for about a month now. She was in the hospital for about a week and had moved today to a rehabilitation facility. She has Parkinson's/Dementia issues going on and had recently seemed like she was going absolutely crazy. The doctors said that it could be her Parkinson's medicine making her that way in combination with her thyroid levels being completely out of whack. To top it all off she developed a UTI so it was the perfect storm of things going on that her body couldn't quite handle. We are still not quite sure what may come in the long run but she is starting to seem more like her old self so we're hoping she'll recover and leave the rehabilitation center after some therapy...her weight has dropped to 88 pounds.
I was hired for a new job within my current company and will no longer be a supervisor and to tell the truth, I'm excited. My new venture will begin this coming Monday :)
Friday, May 31, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Missouri Bound? Maybe, Eventually
This weekend Tom had off of work, hooray! I threw it out to him that I really hate living in Delaware and want to move to "The Promised Land" (as my Dad calls it). Tom said lets go for it.
So here we are again planning how we can escape this life in Delaware for a new one in Missouri. I plan on phasing out our stay here in DE.
Sounds crazy, but good Lord willing it will happen. So any of you Missouri folks have any tips on jobs that are in need or good places to live...let us know :)
So here we are again planning how we can escape this life in Delaware for a new one in Missouri. I plan on phasing out our stay here in DE.
- Phase 1 sell our house
- Phase 2 pay off debt and save money
- Phase three find jobs and a new house
Sounds crazy, but good Lord willing it will happen. So any of you Missouri folks have any tips on jobs that are in need or good places to live...let us know :)
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
the not yet diagnosed, diagnosis
Tom and I had our parent conference for Carter with the psychologists today.
He is currently not diagnosed with really anything substantial in my opinion. He was technically diagnosed with "Disruptive Behavior Disorder." I'm pretty sure that's the diagnosis they give so insurance covers the bill.
He did have average to above average ratings in certain areas of development and would have scored higher for some of the average ratings if he would have said what the word of an item was instead of what that item does; IE hammer is nail-nail. In other things like aggression, ability to make friends, socialization, odd play behavior, etc he scored very poor. Which made the doctors concerned, hence the above diagnosis. They did say he is at a high potential for being on the autism spectrum because of some of the things he currently displays. That diagnosis was not made because he's on the cusp of normal and not normal behavior. I think they need more input besides Tom and I's opinions and of course from what they observed. We were left as a wait and see on that issue. If school finds issue or we grow more concerned in time (like a year or so) then we will go back and have him checked out again. They did say they would then make an addendum to the original diagnosis and go from there if it was warranted.
We haven't received our official report; that will be ready Friday and will include their findings, recommendations etc. They would like him to socialize a lot more and with consistent peers so that he is able to make friends. The sooner the better because if we wait until Fall we will have lost five months.
The irony of him possibly being on the spectrum and that it's "Autism Awareness Day" is not lost on me.
He is currently not diagnosed with really anything substantial in my opinion. He was technically diagnosed with "Disruptive Behavior Disorder." I'm pretty sure that's the diagnosis they give so insurance covers the bill.
He did have average to above average ratings in certain areas of development and would have scored higher for some of the average ratings if he would have said what the word of an item was instead of what that item does; IE hammer is nail-nail. In other things like aggression, ability to make friends, socialization, odd play behavior, etc he scored very poor. Which made the doctors concerned, hence the above diagnosis. They did say he is at a high potential for being on the autism spectrum because of some of the things he currently displays. That diagnosis was not made because he's on the cusp of normal and not normal behavior. I think they need more input besides Tom and I's opinions and of course from what they observed. We were left as a wait and see on that issue. If school finds issue or we grow more concerned in time (like a year or so) then we will go back and have him checked out again. They did say they would then make an addendum to the original diagnosis and go from there if it was warranted.
We haven't received our official report; that will be ready Friday and will include their findings, recommendations etc. They would like him to socialize a lot more and with consistent peers so that he is able to make friends. The sooner the better because if we wait until Fall we will have lost five months.
The irony of him possibly being on the spectrum and that it's "Autism Awareness Day" is not lost on me.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
red again, amongst other things
Sheesh, so we're still doing our Friday appointments with Carter with the exception of last Friday because work has been a mother and I couldn't get away. The Friday before that we took Amelia with us for the first time. The appointment went pretty well I thought. He did have a time out for throwing toys but recovered quickly. Other than that no great changes, good or bad, in behavior. The over abundance of praising was mentioned again. This time in the form of keeping a little chart on an index card that you take with you to the store and give him a star every time he does something well. I must have less brain cells then other Moms out there because I have a hard time paying attention to all three kids while shopping for food and also remembering to praise my child for sitting still. Maybe with practice.
Carter's face is red again, I could just say a thousand cusses. I noticed it did look a little red and thought it could be strawberries because I hadn't bought them in a little while. Then I gave him watermelon and bumps appeared. At first I wonder to myself, "really? how much more must this child endure?" And then I'm like "settle down sailor, this ain't the end of the world." So I sucked up my frustration and scheduled him to have allergy testing again. I never really cared for his last allergist and felt they did the testing too soon to the time that we gave Carter benadryl. We'll be visiting the new allergist in May and avoiding red fruits until then.
Amelia is a comical little child. She's like a little quiet observer and just when you think you've got everyone entertained and occupied you notice her trying to scale the dining room table. Clearly climbing furniture is much more fun than any toy we can supply. She would also make an excellent homeless person as she is in the dig-through-trash-and-eat-what-she-can-find stage. Mmm, yum! Yesterday, she was enthralled with a sight book with different pictures of just about everything and was pointing and talking to herself. I wish I would have recorded her because it was too cute.
Hannah-banana is my little sidekick, I can't believe she's five and going to be in kindergarten next year. Where have these years gone? She is addicted to using sharpies and recently asked for an entire set of them from Staples, I'm sure to rue this purchase ;) Han really loves school and learning about God. I think we had a 20 minute or more discussion about Jesus dying on the cross. Not quite sure she understands it completely but baby steps, the seeds are being planted.
I recently received a call back to schedule the results of Carter psych evaluation. They offered this past 22nd of March or April 2nd or 5th. I was ready to jump on the 22nd but knew with Tom's firm work schedule there may not be enough room to budge with a 2:00 appointment. This week is my attempt at patience, I'm trying not to be antsy but wanting desperately to know what the doctors have to say. April 2nd at 2:00 Tom and I will meet with the doctors and hear what's going on with our boy.
I feel Tom and I are doing the best for our children and have had a few friends, family and even doctors tell us we are doing the right thing and that it's good we started now. Then you have the one conversation with your dearest, oldest friend right there in the middle of the Whole Foods cheese department where you are both in tears because she is just SO proud of you as a Mom and thinks you're doing a great job. Those are the reassuring moments you need most. That touched my heart so deeply that I cry now just reliving it in my mind.
Well that the highlights of our lives right at this second, folks. Let's please pray for Carter and all that is going on and maybe for me to have continued patience and understanding with everything being thrown our way ;)
Carter's face is red again, I could just say a thousand cusses. I noticed it did look a little red and thought it could be strawberries because I hadn't bought them in a little while. Then I gave him watermelon and bumps appeared. At first I wonder to myself, "really? how much more must this child endure?" And then I'm like "settle down sailor, this ain't the end of the world." So I sucked up my frustration and scheduled him to have allergy testing again. I never really cared for his last allergist and felt they did the testing too soon to the time that we gave Carter benadryl. We'll be visiting the new allergist in May and avoiding red fruits until then.
Amelia is a comical little child. She's like a little quiet observer and just when you think you've got everyone entertained and occupied you notice her trying to scale the dining room table. Clearly climbing furniture is much more fun than any toy we can supply. She would also make an excellent homeless person as she is in the dig-through-trash-and-eat-what-she-can-find stage. Mmm, yum! Yesterday, she was enthralled with a sight book with different pictures of just about everything and was pointing and talking to herself. I wish I would have recorded her because it was too cute.
Hannah-banana is my little sidekick, I can't believe she's five and going to be in kindergarten next year. Where have these years gone? She is addicted to using sharpies and recently asked for an entire set of them from Staples, I'm sure to rue this purchase ;) Han really loves school and learning about God. I think we had a 20 minute or more discussion about Jesus dying on the cross. Not quite sure she understands it completely but baby steps, the seeds are being planted.
I recently received a call back to schedule the results of Carter psych evaluation. They offered this past 22nd of March or April 2nd or 5th. I was ready to jump on the 22nd but knew with Tom's firm work schedule there may not be enough room to budge with a 2:00 appointment. This week is my attempt at patience, I'm trying not to be antsy but wanting desperately to know what the doctors have to say. April 2nd at 2:00 Tom and I will meet with the doctors and hear what's going on with our boy.
I feel Tom and I are doing the best for our children and have had a few friends, family and even doctors tell us we are doing the right thing and that it's good we started now. Then you have the one conversation with your dearest, oldest friend right there in the middle of the Whole Foods cheese department where you are both in tears because she is just SO proud of you as a Mom and thinks you're doing a great job. Those are the reassuring moments you need most. That touched my heart so deeply that I cry now just reliving it in my mind.
Well that the highlights of our lives right at this second, folks. Let's please pray for Carter and all that is going on and maybe for me to have continued patience and understanding with everything being thrown our way ;)
Monday, March 11, 2013
That Was Quick
As I sleepily drug myself out of bed I wondered where on earth the weekend went? Losing one hour in order to spring forward feels like I sprung forward an entire day. Sheesh, I need Monday off to recover. :)
Friday...
Tom, Carter and I headed off for our now weekly behaviour clinic. We had a new rotation come through and now have a new clinician. Her name is Glori Gray which is an awesome name for a super hero. Unfortunately, this was the worst appt we've had thus far. Carter doesn't like change, it gives him terrible anxiety, and he was acting up quite a bit meeting with our new "lady." As a result of the gigantic 6" x 2" block being lunged at her lip we got to focus on time outs for this appointment. The one thing I didn't care for was the advice to remove him from a situation. If you're at a restaurant or a store and he starts to misbehave and you can't get him under control we should give him a time out in the store or make him sit in the car. WTH? This may be fantastic advice for a Mama with one kiddo but not when you have two others to wrangle, usually without your husband. I think I need to meditate on that advice a little more because I left the children's hospital feeling quite defeated and wondering when we won't need to do these modifications to our lives. I'm beginning to realize that answer is never, this is our lives now.
Saturday...
A better day, hooray! We packed up all the kiddos and headed to Washington DC to spend time in the American Girl doll store. Hannah picked her birthday activity since we don't do big parties anymore. She had a fun time getting her doll's hair styled and picking out new things to use her birthday money on. Tom and I got her the Saige doll as her present and she is on cloud nine still over the trip. I was hopeful the day would go well and Carter did really good with a minor meltdown of anxiety at the restaurant. Thankfully, after about 15-20 minutes I got him to settle down. It was a very fun day!
Sunday...
Started off with Nursery duty at church with Hannah and Amelia. Hannah went to the Kid's Church for the first time since she is now five. She absolutely loved it and talked the entire ride home and then some about what she learned. Proudly declaring she is a daughter of God and that boys are sons of God. She can't wait for next week. Sweet little Amelia, she makes life so easy on me not a peep out of her, I love her. After church, followed by peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, we headed to BJ's. We shop at BJ's all the time and never have an incident out of the kids. This visit was really weird and something I've not experienced with Carter before. He is telling us in a worried tone, not loud at all, that he wants to go home and then proceeds to lightly whimper and repeat that he wants to go home, over and over again. His face looked so sad and terrified. Tom and I looked at each other for answers and I told him that he never does this when we come here. Inside I'm thinking "Dear Lord, not another thing, please!" I really dont' know why he was acting so terrified but I hope this isn't the beginning of something new going on with him. My poor guy, I need answers! Sometime after the super quick trip to BJ's, Tom and I headed out to our first IMAX movie. The Great and Powerful OZ was wonderful but I couldn't shake James Franco being a drug using/dealer out of my head from Pineapple Express. Am I the only one? Other than that is was wonderful!
How was your weekend?
Friday...
Tom, Carter and I headed off for our now weekly behaviour clinic. We had a new rotation come through and now have a new clinician. Her name is Glori Gray which is an awesome name for a super hero. Unfortunately, this was the worst appt we've had thus far. Carter doesn't like change, it gives him terrible anxiety, and he was acting up quite a bit meeting with our new "lady." As a result of the gigantic 6" x 2" block being lunged at her lip we got to focus on time outs for this appointment. The one thing I didn't care for was the advice to remove him from a situation. If you're at a restaurant or a store and he starts to misbehave and you can't get him under control we should give him a time out in the store or make him sit in the car. WTH? This may be fantastic advice for a Mama with one kiddo but not when you have two others to wrangle, usually without your husband. I think I need to meditate on that advice a little more because I left the children's hospital feeling quite defeated and wondering when we won't need to do these modifications to our lives. I'm beginning to realize that answer is never, this is our lives now.
Saturday...
A better day, hooray! We packed up all the kiddos and headed to Washington DC to spend time in the American Girl doll store. Hannah picked her birthday activity since we don't do big parties anymore. She had a fun time getting her doll's hair styled and picking out new things to use her birthday money on. Tom and I got her the Saige doll as her present and she is on cloud nine still over the trip. I was hopeful the day would go well and Carter did really good with a minor meltdown of anxiety at the restaurant. Thankfully, after about 15-20 minutes I got him to settle down. It was a very fun day!
Sunday...
Started off with Nursery duty at church with Hannah and Amelia. Hannah went to the Kid's Church for the first time since she is now five. She absolutely loved it and talked the entire ride home and then some about what she learned. Proudly declaring she is a daughter of God and that boys are sons of God. She can't wait for next week. Sweet little Amelia, she makes life so easy on me not a peep out of her, I love her. After church, followed by peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, we headed to BJ's. We shop at BJ's all the time and never have an incident out of the kids. This visit was really weird and something I've not experienced with Carter before. He is telling us in a worried tone, not loud at all, that he wants to go home and then proceeds to lightly whimper and repeat that he wants to go home, over and over again. His face looked so sad and terrified. Tom and I looked at each other for answers and I told him that he never does this when we come here. Inside I'm thinking "Dear Lord, not another thing, please!" I really dont' know why he was acting so terrified but I hope this isn't the beginning of something new going on with him. My poor guy, I need answers! Sometime after the super quick trip to BJ's, Tom and I headed out to our first IMAX movie. The Great and Powerful OZ was wonderful but I couldn't shake James Franco being a drug using/dealer out of my head from Pineapple Express. Am I the only one? Other than that is was wonderful!
How was your weekend?
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
One, Two, Three, Four...Fifth!
Hannah celebrated her fifth birthday yesterday, her golden birthday! She went to school with cupcakes and treat bags in tow. We picked her up from school with a large bouquet of balloons. Had lunch at her favorite place-Red Robins. Traveled to Best Buy to pick up Wreck it Ralph at which time the balloon bouquet decided to exit the car. Bought a second bouquet of balloons. Came home and played before heading to the mall later in the evening. Hopefully she had a great birthday despite the balloons blowing away and a few other minor disasters.
Carter had his psychological evaluation while Hannah was at school and my Mom watched Amelia. Nothing to really report about that, it was surprisingly the easiest part of my day. They let him play while they talked to us. We then implemented a clean up time that went pretty well. Next, they tested him while he was buckled into a high chair and all the toys were taken out of the room. They showed him a book with pictures and asked him questions, they worked with red and white blocks, etc. He did not care to be buckled in the high chair and was getting angry at the lady for not letting him out. Tom and I filled out about seven pages of questions in regards to his behavior and then we went to the playground to see how he does in a playground setting. From there we left. The evaluation lasted around two and a half hours. They will give us a call to have us come back and talk about what they found during his evaluation.
Yesterday was a hard day for me, I think the easiest part of the day was taking Carter to the Children's Hospital which is saying a lot. After the balloons blew away the day went downhill from there. I cut my finger (which still hurts), Carter jumped on my back (which also still hurts), Carter choked and threw up at the dinner table because of his paper eating obsession and to top it all off he jumped into the mall water fountain and was completely drenched and choking on water. Yeah, it was a long day for sure.
I'm sure one day I'll look back and laugh at some of these shenanigans but today is not that day.
Carter had his psychological evaluation while Hannah was at school and my Mom watched Amelia. Nothing to really report about that, it was surprisingly the easiest part of my day. They let him play while they talked to us. We then implemented a clean up time that went pretty well. Next, they tested him while he was buckled into a high chair and all the toys were taken out of the room. They showed him a book with pictures and asked him questions, they worked with red and white blocks, etc. He did not care to be buckled in the high chair and was getting angry at the lady for not letting him out. Tom and I filled out about seven pages of questions in regards to his behavior and then we went to the playground to see how he does in a playground setting. From there we left. The evaluation lasted around two and a half hours. They will give us a call to have us come back and talk about what they found during his evaluation.
Yesterday was a hard day for me, I think the easiest part of the day was taking Carter to the Children's Hospital which is saying a lot. After the balloons blew away the day went downhill from there. I cut my finger (which still hurts), Carter jumped on my back (which also still hurts), Carter choked and threw up at the dinner table because of his paper eating obsession and to top it all off he jumped into the mall water fountain and was completely drenched and choking on water. Yeah, it was a long day for sure.
I'm sure one day I'll look back and laugh at some of these shenanigans but today is not that day.
Friday, March 1, 2013
p.r.i.d.e.
Our weekly behavior clinic appointment was today.
Today went really well, we learned about P.R.I.D.E. It is basically a way to provide your child with a "special time" that you dedicate to just your child everyday. It's a little different then the normal playing with your kids that we do. It is one on one and no other kids are to be around. During this particular time you announce that it is time for "special time." You then let the child lead the activity, it could be playing trucks or using the toy kitchen; whatever they want to do. You do not ask them any questions, not even things like "Is that a horse?" You don't give any commands and you don't discipline or correct them. If they pick up a horse and say "look a giraffe," you would reply "Yes, you think that's a giraffe."
P.R.I.D.E represents:
Playtime stops immediately if there is aggressive/destructive behavior. If its something minor liking throwing a cup, ignore that and wait for them to pick the cup up. When they do let them know they did a good job picking the cup up and that you really like that.
I will say, I'm not a SUPER enthusiastic person, ever. It feels like all of the advice Tom and I have received is making us much better at giving praise and being enthusiastic. This new type of parenting feels like we praise the tiniest thing; "Thanks for walking quietly in the hallway." Which to me is not something I would normally think to praise. However, I've come to realize that the constant affirmation of good behavior is deterring some (not all) negative behavior. It's been a good thing for our family and I'm anxious to hear more advice.
Plans for next week include a four hour psychological evaluation on Tuesday and another behavior clinic on Friday. We're making progress :)
Today went really well, we learned about P.R.I.D.E. It is basically a way to provide your child with a "special time" that you dedicate to just your child everyday. It's a little different then the normal playing with your kids that we do. It is one on one and no other kids are to be around. During this particular time you announce that it is time for "special time." You then let the child lead the activity, it could be playing trucks or using the toy kitchen; whatever they want to do. You do not ask them any questions, not even things like "Is that a horse?" You don't give any commands and you don't discipline or correct them. If they pick up a horse and say "look a giraffe," you would reply "Yes, you think that's a giraffe."
P.R.I.D.E represents:
- Praise appropriate behavior
- Reflect appropriate talk
- Imitate appropriate play
- Describe appropriate behavior
- be Enthusiastic
Playtime stops immediately if there is aggressive/destructive behavior. If its something minor liking throwing a cup, ignore that and wait for them to pick the cup up. When they do let them know they did a good job picking the cup up and that you really like that.
I will say, I'm not a SUPER enthusiastic person, ever. It feels like all of the advice Tom and I have received is making us much better at giving praise and being enthusiastic. This new type of parenting feels like we praise the tiniest thing; "Thanks for walking quietly in the hallway." Which to me is not something I would normally think to praise. However, I've come to realize that the constant affirmation of good behavior is deterring some (not all) negative behavior. It's been a good thing for our family and I'm anxious to hear more advice.
Plans for next week include a four hour psychological evaluation on Tuesday and another behavior clinic on Friday. We're making progress :)
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