Lately my mind has been swimming with old memories, I am not sure what started all of this. Of course you never have good memories swirling in your head. It is always the bad memories, the memories you wish you could bury away in a deep dark place and never think of again. The kind of memory that shapes the way you react and behave now. A nightmare if you will.
As I am getting older, I am realizing, these memories that haunt my thoughts at night while I am lying in bed, have shaped my attitude towards life and my trust for other people. I am the kind of person, now, that if I see you I will know instantly if you are treacherous or not. If I will like you or not. It is very weird it is almost like a distrust was enabled in me that can smell a "bad person" a mile away. Perhaps I was very naive as a youth and that is why things panned out for me the way they did. I trusted everyone and everything, thanks to that "learned mistake" I will never be the same again.
I was robbed of my youth, my innocence. It was something that was gone in an instance and leaves the kind of hole in you, from which it is impossible to recover.
I guess it is one of those things that you yourself have to go through to really understand.
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