Thursday 4/30/2009

Last week's appointment went very well! Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me!

All of my blood work looks really good and the RE will continue to monitor me until I am 12 weeks. They estimated that I was about five weeks last week. My estimated due date is 12-20-2009. The lady that did my ultrasound sound said that may increase by a few days since it does look like I am five weeks and they will be able to measure the embryo next Thursday (the 7th).

The lady also hoped that we would be able to see the heartbeat this week! YAY!

Unfortunately, Tom is with Hannah so he hasn't been able to come to the ultrasounds with me and I don't think we will be coming to any.  :-(   At least that is how it looks so far.

Here is the little bean at five weeks:



I don't see two sacs in there so I am going to assume we dodged the twin bullet!  ;-)

Looking UP!

Finally got a call back today about my blood-work from Monday. My progesterone is way up thanks to the Prometrium! Went from 7 on Thursday with no meds to 36 on Monday! YAY!

They have me taking two pills in the morning, one pill mid-day and two pills at night. I'm quite thankful that it is working well!

I will be monitored by the RE until I am at 12 weeks. My first ultrasound will be Thursday at 9:00! I am super excited!!!

I have been uber paranoid about having twins this pregnancy. On my dad's side of the family there are three sets of twins. My grandmother had twins, her sister had twins and one of my cousins has also had twins so far. There is a pattern though. Your first baby is a single child and then the second time you get pregnant it is twins. So this will be my possible shot at having twins, lol! If this were to happen I would have a heart-attack, seriously!

So far my one best friend has decided that I am not having twins but that I am going to have another girl. My other best friend has decided that I am having a boy. My MIL has decided that I am having twins one boy and one girl. Since I have not yet fine tuned my psychic abilities I am unable to predict at this time what I will be having! Really I think I need someone to pinch me because I still am in shock. I was darn grateful to have been blessed with Hannah and to have another one on the way just seems so unreal. Maybe it will sink in when I see with my own eyes Thursday.

NO Bread, NO Red, NO Cheese

This is my latest challenge. I really need something to just get me to drop a bunch of weight. My trainer thinks this is something that I really need to pray on and be focused.

The challenge is that for thirty days I will not eat bread, red meat or any cheese. Now if anyone out there knows me, knows that I LOVE all of these things!  With my PCOS it really is poison to my body when I eat any type of carbs such as pasta or bread. I am not kidding, if I were to eat a small portion of pasta or white bread I will gain at least a pound if not more. I have cut out all white bread and have only been eating wheat but now I am just cutting it out completely.

Cheese mine enemy, I love it! I wouldn't say I eat it at every meal but I will usually eat cheese once or twice a day.

Red meat, my favorite meat this is where we will part ways. I will now be eating chicken or turkey like that's my job!

Surprisingly I am feeling really good about this. I thought I would be taking it harder but so far so good!

If anyone would like to take the challenge with me I would love that!!! Just let me know if you are going to do it too so we can be there for each other!

Another thing I have been working on is cleaning up my mouth! Man has this been a challenge. Try as I might I can't quit cussing, I think I am going to start with one cuss word at a time until I work them all out of my mouth. Wish me luck!

Fat? Homely? Poor? Oh My!

Last Thursday as I wrapped up my shopping trip in Walmart accompanied by Hannie and my one of my BF's. I am getting rung up by the cashier and as she swipes my formula can she says:

Cashier: Do you have your WIC card?

Me: What?

C: If you have your WIC card you can get your formula for free.

Me: I make too much money to qualify for WIC.

C: Oh okay.

Later on as I am riding back to my friends house I got to thinking. Do I look poor? Then we both enjoyed a good laugh at that WTF moment in the Ghetto-Mart.

Next day, I went to have my blood work done for the Diabetes Center. Please note Diabetes Center.

Lab Tech: Why are you bouncing that baby?

Me: Just 'cause.

LT: Well stop it. If you keep doing that she won't understand the difference when you do it when she is upset.

She rambled on more about this topic and then stopped. Okay as unwanted as her advice is I can see her logic.

A few seconds later:

LT: Do you have diabetes?

Me: I had Type 2 before I was pregnant and now they are telling me that I am in a pre-diabetic state.

LT: That's weird, I have never heard of that

LT: Let me tell you a secret

Me: (Oh dear Lord what now) What's that

LT: Gastric bypass cures diabetes

Me: Oh (Thinking to myself no she didn't)

LT: My sister had it and girl let me tell you she is so skinny and she is a baby making machine!

Me: Good for her

LT: You should get it, insurance will pay for it just like that (snaps fingers)

Me: Oh, hmm (How freaking rude!)

LT: My sister she so fertile she had to terminate three of her pregnancies, she just kept getting pregnant and finally they told her she had to get her tubes tied.

Me: Mmm

What the heck! I do not want to hear about your sister's abortion, I do not want to hear about her diabetes and I don't want your skinny ass telling me to get Gastric Bypass! Mind your own business!

She also informed me that she knows how hard it is to lose weight because she has been trying very hard to lose ten pounds since last year and she just can't seem to do it. "She is just not movitvated enough to get up and exercise."

I wanted to tell her that is so sad for her it must be hard to be a size four and ten pounds over weight, how does she possibly manage to get out of bed every morning.

But I didn't and I never do say anything rude back to people even when they are rude to me. I guess my parents raised me better than that.

Nursing No More...

Last week I stopped pumping and nursing altogether. The baby was not wanting to nurse good ever since I went back to work, she seemed to become lazy and only wanted the bottle. Then when I pumped I got the most minuscule amount of milk, I used to get an ounce per boob then it got less and less. It was so low that last week when I would pump I only got about an eighth of an ounce. That's when I knew it was time to call it quits. As a result I have been really sad lately. Like, start crying for no apparent reason sad. I tried to tell Tom how I had been feeling today but he doesn't understand I guess. Gosh, even right now I'm starting to tear up.

I'm assuming that I am going through some hormonal change to add to the guilt of no longer breast feeding. I never thought it would be so hard. Everyone says you have no problem nursing and I think that is a bunch of crap. It rates right up there with having no problem getting pregnant! Ha!

I guess I better hit the hay, I have a long day of work ahead of me.

Birth Control.

It really doesn't even belong in my vocabulary.

I decided long ago that birth control was the devil and screwed my body up. No doctor has ever given me reason to think this but I do. I haven't been on birth control now for five years. (Wow as a side note, I never stopped to realize I haven't taken birth control for five years, that is a long time!) I stopped taking it a year before I got married, the year I found out I had PCOS. Taking birth control after learning I had PCOS seemed pointless to me so I just stopped taking it.

But, since I did somehow manage by the grace of God to get knocked up without the use of fertility drugs, I better do something to prevent a possible second pregnancy right away.

With that being said I resigned myself to the fact that *gasp*condoms would need to be used. Gross. I've never been a big fan of condoms and after talking it over with a girlfriend she agreed that she also hated them, which oddly enough made me feel a lot better. So I drug myself to the drug store, baby in tow, and headed towards the condom aisle. For a second I felt like a high school-er sneaking off to buy condoms. I probably stood there a good fifteen minutes staring at all the different varieties. It was a tad overwhelming. I finally made my selection and sat the evil condoms in the cart, next to Hannah. I laughed at the irony of that situation, me with a baby and who'd have thunk I now have to use condoms (you know, just in case. HA!).

I guess it is better to be safe than sorry, I am all for having more kids but I would just like to wait until Hannah is bigger, like two years old bigger. Maybe God will bless us with more children, maybe He won't. But I don't want to be that person, you know the one that gets pregnant as soon as she has her baby. That my friends would be so not cool!

The Beginning of the Next Three Months

Today was my official last day at work! Wa-hoo!

I took four vacation days prior to the induction because I wanted to. I don't really have anything to do that I can think of. I might just straighten the house up a bit, hang out at the mall and finish up doctor's appointments. Good times! Once I have the baby I will be put on maternity leave and I don't have to go back to work for three months (12 weeks)! So far it seems strange. I have worked there for five years and have never been on a leave of absence or anything over two weeks at one time...This may take some getting used to.

I was actually a little sad when I left! As unbelievable as I thought that would be...I even got a little weepy in the car. The same thing happened last Friday when I went to the Diabetes doctor. When I left I had this overwhelming feeling of sadness...I guess it's that whole things coming to an end. I'm feeling much better (for) now.

Tomorrow will be my last ultrasound/bio-physical and we will find out how big the baby is! I made a bet with Tom that she will be 7.2 and of course he tried to price's-right me and make his bid at 7.4. He's a sneaky one. I'll probably be closer because the OB said she is about 7lbs. There probably won't be a good pic of her tomorrow. Now that her bones are hardening it creates dark shadows and makes it near impossible to get a clear picture.

I guess I'm done rambling now  :wink:

Childbirth Class (Day 4)

Almost forgot about this day...

Last Tuesday we had our fourth class. It consisted of a tour of Labor and Delivery as well as the area you go after you have the baby. It was nice to be able to see everything and I was surprised to not hear any screaming or anything. I guess I just have an active imagination  :wink:

Then after that the teacher told everyone how having a child will put a strain on your relationship and that you need to set aside time once a month to be with one another. Blah, blah, blah. Anyone with an ounce of common sense would realize that you are introducing a new person that needs constant care into your life, of course your marriage won't be the same! It would be ridiculous to think it would be the same as pre-baby marriage.

Then we watched a video on post-partum depression and having the baby blues. I asked Tom what he would do if I had post-partum and he so loving replied, "I'd ship your ass of to your mother's house, I'm not putting up with that shit." And I so loving replied, "Ok, Tom Cruise!"

Ultrasound Day

What a fucking morning this has been.

It is my first day back after being out sick from work the past two days. Well as you all know Thursday is my weekly ultrasound. So I plan to go to the ultrasound,  have a look at the baby and then head back to work.

We start our appointment and everything is going good but the baby was extremely active more so than normal. Then the ultrasound chick checks the babies heart-rate and it is in the low 200's!  Well I immediately saw the concern on her face and just that time I hear Tom say, "That is kind of high isn't it?" Apparently I am blind because no where on the screen could I see the heart rate number. I asked what it was and the lady told me it was 198! I can feel the tears welling in my eyes but I tried to keep under control. The lady continues with the rest of the ultrasound and everything looks good...except the heart rate. So she says, "We might need to send you over to the hospital, I am going to go and look for the doctor and if he isn't in yet I will page him." Well all of this is starting to sound extremely urgent to me and as soon as the door closes I started to cry. I compose myself before she returns. She get back and tries to put a fetal monitor around my belly but the baby would not sit still long enough to get a good reading so I ended up being sent over to the office that is at the hospital. She didn't want to send me to triage for fear they would take too long. So Tom drives us  over there and I get all strapped in to the fetal monitor and we sit and watch. This child was going from 125 to 180 but eventually calmed down enough that we were allowed to leave.

The doctors didn't offer any reason for this mysterious heart rate craziness. It was all very upsetting. But we are both okay and she is doing well (as long as she doesn't have another baby freak out moment).

 Oooh, I almost forgot, she weighs 5lbs 2oz! YAY!

(No pictures today since we had the baby scare)

Bio Physical #3

Had another today, baby is doing excellent. Her head is still down and her butt is on my left side and she normally kicks my right side.

What you are about to witness is by far the scariest ultrasound picture ever. She looks like she is screaming she has her eyes and mouth wide open. Kind of reminds me of a ghost or something.



I almost think she knew what was going on because in all of my other pictures from today she is peacefully relaxing with her hands drawn to her face. Then the ultrasound tech feverishly shakes the wand over my belly while saying "come on baby, show us your face!" Well ask and you will receive.

Of course after my mother looked at the picture she laughed for 15 minutes, we have a strange sense of humor in this family.

Childbirth Class (Day 3)

I almost forgot with everything aggravating me yesterday...

We had another class on Tuesday night, I must say, TMI! I do not need to know every possible thing about birth. Tom and I have agreed that it kind of makes you worry more about the "what ifs."  This week we discussed C-Sections and Epidurals. I do not want either.

The epidural just gives me the heebe jeebes, they passed around what goes into your back and then hangs out taped to you, yuck. I didn't want one before and now I really don't want it. I could possibly change my mind when I am laying on the bed in horrendous pain but, for now I don't really want to have an epidural.

The c-section, does anyone out there want to have one? I surely do not! Everyone I know that has has a c-section has a small stomach pouch that never goes away, I don't need any help making my stomach look bigger. On the serious side, that scares the hell out of me. I have only ever had laparoscopic surgery and that was on my ovaries -painful- I can not imagine having my stomach cut open. It is very scary so I hope we don't have any complications that call for a c-section.

Let me ask all of you:

Have you had an epidural? Do you recommend it?

Have you had a c-section? How did it go?

Childbirth Class (Day 2)

I am surprised how informative these classes are. A lot of people say "Oh, you don't need to go" or "They are so boring, you shouldn't go."  I don't think that is the case at all. It is helping me to be better prepared mentally on what to expect and all the possible things that could happen. Although the birthing videos are quite disgusting, I was prepared enough for that, I didn't need to see another woman's hoohaa with a baby coming out  (and all the fluid that comes with it!) it was really rather gross. They even showed the placenta, it was definitely a throw-up in your mouth moment.

Some of the things they show you just look rather medieval and since I have never given birth before I hadn't realized that there are monitors that attach to the baby while the baby is inside of you and then the wire hangs out your hoo-haa, there is also another monitor that measures contractions and goes in to said hoo-haa with another wire hanging out. That is not cool. Then they went over two methods of induction. The one being pitocin the other was medieval. The second method is a catheter that goes into your cervix and then is blown up with a little bit of air so that the tube has a bubble. Then the rubber hose is (once again) left hanging out of your hoo-haa. It is supposed to induce your labor and get you to dilate. You are supposed to go to sleep with this hose hanging out of you and then in the morning it just "falls out" once you start to dilate. If it doesn't fall out then that method just isn't going to work for you and you had that tube in there all night for nothing. The instructor had nerve enough to tell us that it doesn't hurt, I refuse to believe that shit. My cervix has been screwed around with plenty by doctors and when they stick something in there it hurts like a bitch...she's not fooling me!

So that is just a glimmer of the possible things that could happen to you and your hoo-haa. There was much more traumatizing facts but I don't have the time to go over it all just now.

Feeling Better!?!

I am feeling a little better from the other day when I was in full fledged diabetes panic mode. The Diabetes Center made some changes today when I faxed my (blood sugar) numbers in and so far so good!

I am just feeling really, really stressed! I hate, hate, hate having that 'nothing you can do will change anything' feeling. Perhaps I am a huge slight control freak?

Like the house is coming along fairly well but there is really nothing I can do to help. My diabetes is a complete act of nature, I was way more physically active and ate next to no sweets and it didn't phase my diabetes this weekend so that is super frustrating.

But, the diabetes is back under control as we speak so I hope it stays that way! The house is coming along as fast as it can. My husband and dad fixed the ceiling this weekend and I think it just needs a little more spackle and sanding before they can paint it. The bathroom is getting there. Dad did the plumbing for the bathtub and then we are going to put down tile, paint and install the new toilet and vanity and that will be done. I think the bedrooms just need painted and flooring installed...I think. This house is just like what you would see on TLC's Flip That House. I kid you not, you start one thing and it opens another can of worms!

So if anyone wants to come over and lend a hand you are more than welcome! We'll even buy the pizza!

Eight out of Eight

Today marked the first day for the baby's bio-physicals. I had no clue what the bio-physical was all about so when we went today they gave us the breakdown.

They are basically just checking fetal movement and fluid levels. You get two points for proper fluid levels, two points if the baby kicks twice, two points if the baby punches twice and two points if the baby moves twice (I forget the exact word they used but she basically needed to wiggle two times). They also make sure she is breathing properly and check her heart-rate (150bmp today). Luckily today she was very active in the morning so once they told me what needed to happen I wasn't concerned. She has to perform all of these things with in a half hour and she completed all of her movements in about ten minutes.

The coolest thing about all of this is when you feel the baby moving you actually can see it on the screen. I enjoyed that the most! Usually I don't see the baby moving on the screen because they are constantly moving the wand thing around so I never can tell if they are moving or if she is.

So everything turned out okay and we scored eight out of eight. I am stoked I get to do this every week!

Third Trimester...Finally

Today is the official day that I am seven months! WooHoo!

I am ever so slightly terrified as everyone around me seems to be giving birth early and I don't really want to catch that fever if you know what I mean. Even the waitress at Apple-bees shared the story of her daughter going three and a half months early and the baby was born a little over a pound. My mind was once again filled with that panic-y fear! My friend at work was due in January and just had her baby this past week! She was thankfully born a little over five pounds so she didn't have to go to the NICU. If anyone else goes into labor early I will be begging for bed rest just to be on the safe side. Seriously, I have come this far and don't want any problems.

Now is apparently the time when everyone starts to offer advice and ask if you are "ready for the baby." I at heart am ready for the baby because I want to hold her and do everything that comes with a baby. In reality no I am not ready! We do not have a room set up for her and don't plan on putting one in this house. We figured it easier just to wait until we go to settlement and do her room first. I also have not had a baby shower and that is were the majority of baby paraphernalia comes from...am I right? So until that happens no I am "not ready," but I am ready at heart!

The advice should be another post but I will share a brief story while getting my eyebrows waxed on Friday. Lynda my eyebrow chick asked if I would be nursing, I said yes and she did what everyone does when they hear that a 23 year old is going to breastfeed. She gave me the "Ohhhh really?" Then to catch herself she added a "That is good to hear, I breastfed all of my children." I knew it was coming it was lingering in the air, the advice was sure to follow and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. She proudly declared "Make sure to start twisting those nipples now because let me tell you it hurts!" That was off the TMI rector scale that I did not need to know about the eyebrow lady. She then proceeds to inform me of how it ruins your breast, etc, etc. I had to shut her down quickly as this was getting too uncomfortable for even me. I kindly explained that my mother used to be a counselor for nursing mothers and she is going to be helping me with everything. That was the end of that. 

The eyebrow lady also told me I was waiting too late to do my childbirth classes. I called the hospital in October and the woman there scheduled it for January so that is really not my problem.

I am oh so grateful that this year during Christmas at Tom's Aunt's House I will not have to hear: "When are you two going to have kids." Followed by me stuttering and stammering because I really felt like saying f'you we've been trying for three years. I would eventually mumble a "We'll see" and left it at that. This year I will be proudly boasting my seven month belly thankful I will never have to hear that dreaded sentence again so long as I live.

Good luck to everyone still struggling on the desperate train of infertility I know it is hard during the holidays but I hope that next year holds a better outcome for all of you!

Wordless Wednesday-Le Bebe

Good News!-Picture Below

Tuesday I had another ultrasound of the baby. We got great news!

When we had our October ultrasound we were told that the baby had a choroid plexus brain cyst and that it could cause retardation if it did not go away. They told me they usually go away so we should be fine. Then they offered me an amniocenteses which I declined. The doctor didn't seem too concerned about the whole thing but Tom and I were very concerned. 

I was devastated. I couldn' believe that after trying to get pregnant for so many years that something like this would happen. I finally thought it through and decided God isn't going to let this happen, the cyst will go away and everything is going to be fine.

So on Tuesday we found out that the brain cyst is gone! Thank you Jesus! It was such an overwhelming relief.

I wanted to say Thank You to everyone that prayed/is praying for the baby and I! Your prayers mean the world to me. As we can see the power of prayer worked for my baby and I am very grateful!

 

Awesome-O

So yesterday, a little bird told me that, if a certain individual was catching babies while I am delivering that said little bird would be able to be in the room! I am super excited! So now the moon and stars need to align so that I will be delivering while this individual is on duty.

It could happen.

At our local hospital you can only have two people and your spouse. So I am having Tom (of course), my mom and his mom. However, I really, really, really wanted my best friend there so, this just might play out in my favor.

I mean you only have your first child once, you should be allowed to have whomever you please in the room.

Dream Me A Dream...

I guess it has been about a month and a half ago by now. I had a dream that I was having a baby girl and she had red hair and green eyes. She looked just like her daddy, it was so real. She was laughing and everything, she wasn't a newborn but maybe about six months or so old. It was all very strange. Of course at the time of the dream I still thought I might be having a boy even though my dream was showing me otherwise. So that leads me to wonder? Do your dreams "come true" when you are pregnant and dream of your baby? My MIL seems to think so. When she was pregnant with Tom she had a dream about him and everything came true, very freaky I know.

Not too long after my dream my manager had a dream about me and the baby. The baby had curly hair! It was a girl and she had curly hair. Mind you all of these dreams are prior to finding out that the baby is indeed a girl.

Just this weekend my manager had another dream about my baby. This dream was almost like it took her breath away, she kept telling me, "Heather, she was just so beautiful!"

So do you think these dreams are true? Do you know of anyone whose pregnant dreams came true?

I think it would be a hoot if this baby came out nothing like the dream I had of what she looked like! HAHA!

Thoughts All A Flutter...

I know I posted the babies pics and dipped out for a few days, I do apologize. Everything is fine or at-least it is starting to feel that way again.

I had my OB appointment today for the month and everything looks good. The babies  heartbeat was good and my 16week genetic blood-work tests came back all normal! Woo-hoo! I have been having a lot of back pain lately so I was able to get a note from the doctor to wear sneakers at work! Muhuwahaha! My back was feeling better from when I lost weight (before I became pregnant) but my belly is pulling it all out of kilter.

I will have my next ultrasound at the end of this month (another level II) and in December I will have a fetal echo cardiogram to make sure my diabetes isn't affecting the babies heart.

I spotted Bam Margera this weekend whilst driving through West Chester, this is my second MTV celebrity sighting.

I guess that is all the news that is news.